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Chances are you were in hyperfocus mode during your
last highly productive work
period. You were likely in a similar state the last time you felt happiest and energized at
home. You were probably focused on just one thing
—whether that was carrying on a
meaningful conversation with a loved one, planting a garden, playing cards with a
relative, or relaxing with a book on the beach. The one thing you were
doing consumed
your full attentional space. Because of this, you likely didn’t have many surrounding
distractions
—your work phone may have been in the other room, and you may have
made a commitment to disconnect for the weekend. Your family may have agreed to a
phone-free dinner. You were probably also in a more relaxed state and, because of this,
didn’t seek novel stimuli in your environment. You could focus with relative ease on
what you were doing.
“Hyperfocus” was the best term I could come up with to describe this state of being
totally focused on one thing, though it does have the disadvantage of sounding
dauntingly intense. In practice, hyperfocus
is actually quite relaxed, unless you’re on a
deadline or are working at or above capacity,
so your work doesn’t have the luxury of
expanding to fit an amount of time. When you hyperfocus, you’re surrounded by very
few novel objects of attention, and what you’re doing fills your
attentional space quite
naturally. This same idea holds true at home, and we experience the same benefits of
hyperfocus there. We remember more of what we’re doing, and our experiences
become more meaningful as a result. We spend more time in the moment and get
things done more quickly and with less effort. I like to do this by setting three personal
daily intentions in addition to my three work goals, even if one happens to be binge-
watching a show on Netflix.
One area I’ve noticed that particularly benefits from hyperfocus is conversations. The
secret to deep, meaningful conversations is simple: bring your
complete attention to the
person you’re speaking with. You can do this in many ways, such as by allowing
someone to finish talking before you start (a simple but highly underutilized technique).
Wait until you hear the period at the end of their sentence before you think about what
you’ll say next. I’m convinced that most people have a sixth sense and can tell when
you’re truly paying attention to them. It’s a remarkable thing when you spend not just
quality time with someone but quality attention as well.
Hyperfocus lets me dive deeper
into my personal relationships, in conversation and
other aspects. I’m convinced that love is nothing more than sharing quality attention with
someone. As David Augsburger, a Baptist minist
er and author, has put it: “Being heard
is so close to being loved that for
the average person, they are almost
indistinguishable.”
When we’re hyperfocusing on an activity at home—whether it’s playing an
instrument, walking the dog, or making dinner for
the family
—disabling the pointless,
novel distractions and focusing completely on what we’re doing means we are
purposefully disengaging from our work. This practice gets easier with time. I’ve
devoted an entire later chapter of this book to recharging hyperfocus
—we can do this by
periodically stepping back from our work to let our mind rest, wander, and take on less
challenging tasks. Spending our time at home more purposefully also enables us
to feel
recharged.
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Whether at work or at home, the quality of your attention determines the quality of
your life. At work, the more attention you give to what’s in front of you, the more
productive you become. At home, the more attention you devote to what’s
in front of
you, the more meaningful your life becomes.
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