Mindset : The New Psychology of Success pdfdrive com

M
OTHER:
Hello. What are you sad about?
B
OY:
I gave my teacher some numbers and I skipped the number 8 and now
I’m feeling sad.
M
OTHER:
Well, there’s one thing that can cheer you up.
B
OY:
What?
M
OTHER:
If you really tell your teacher that you tried your best, she wouldn’t

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be mad at you. [Turning to father] We’re not mad, are we?
F
ATHER:
Oh, yes we are! Son, you better go right to your room.
I  wish  I  could  tell  you  he  listened  to  his  mother’s  growth-oriented  message.
But  in  our  study,  he  seemed  to  heed  the  judgmental  message  of  his  dad,
downgrading himself for his errors and having no good plan for fixing them. Yet
at least he had his mother’s effort message that he could, hopefully, put to use in
the future.
Parents start interpreting and reacting to their child’s behavior at minute one.
A new mother tries to nurse her baby. The baby cries and won’t nurse. Or takes a
few  sucks,  gives  up,  and  starts  screaming.  Is  the  baby  stubborn?  Is  the  baby
deficient? After all, isn’t nursing an inborn reflex? Aren’t babies supposed to be
“naturals” at nursing? What’s wrong with my baby?
A new mother in this situation told me: “At first I got really frustrated. Then I
kept your work in mind. I kept saying to my baby, ‘We’re both learning how to
do this. I know you’re hungry. I know it’s frustrating, but we’re learning.’ This
way of thinking helped me stay cool and guide her through till it worked. It also
helped me understand my baby better so I knew how to teach her other things,
too.”
Don’t judge. Teach. It’s a learning process.