Mindset : The New Psychology of Success pdfdrive com

MINDSETS CAN BE A LIFE-AND-DEATH MATTER
Of  course  parents  want  the  best  for  their  children,  but  sometimes  parents  put
their  children  in  danger.  As  the  director  of  undergraduate  studies  for  my
department at Columbia, I saw a lot of students in trouble. Here is the story of a
great kid who almost didn’t make it.
Sandy showed up in my office at Columbia one week before graduation. She
wanted to change her major to psychology. This is basically a wacky request, but
I sensed her desperation and listened carefully to her story. When I looked over
her record, it was filled with A+’s and F’s. What was going on?
Sandy  had  been  groomed  by  her  parents  to  go  to  Harvard.  Because  of  their
fixed  mindset,  the  only  goal  of  Sandy’s  education  was  to  prove  her  worth  and
competence  (and  perhaps  theirs)  by  gaining  admission  to  Harvard.  Going  there
would mean that she was truly intelligent. For them, it was not about learning. It
was not about pursuing her love of science. It was not even about making a great
contribution.  It  was  about  the  label.  But  she  didn’t  get  in.  And  she  fell  into  a
depression  that  had  plagued  her  ever  since.  Sometimes  she  managed  to  work
effectively (the A+’s), but sometimes she did not (the F’s).
I  knew  that  if  I  didn’t  help  her  she  wouldn’t  graduate,  and  if  she  didn’t
graduate she wouldn’t be able to face her parents. And if she couldn’t face her
parents, I didn’t know what would happen.
I was legitimately able to help Sandy graduate, but that isn’t really the point.
It’s a real tragedy to take a brilliant and wonderful kid like Sandy and crush her
with the weight of these labels.
I hope these stories will teach parents to “want the best” for their children in

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the right way—by fostering their interests, growth, and learning.