Mindset : The New Psychology of Success pdfdrive com

CHILDREN PASS ON THE MESSAGES
Another way we know that children learn these messages is that we can see how
they pass them on. Even young children are ready to pass on the wisdom they’ve
learned.  We  asked  second-grade  children:  “What  advice  would  you  give  to  a
child in your class who was having trouble in math?” Here’s the advice from a
child with the growth mindset:
Do you quit a lot? Do you think for a minute and then stop? If you
do,  you  should  think  for  a  long  time—two  minutes  maybe  and  if
you can’t get it you should read the problem again. If you can’t get
it then, you should raise your hand and ask the teacher.
Isn’t  that  the  greatest?  The  advice  from  children  with  the  fixed  mindset  was
not  nearly  as  useful.  Since  there’s  no  recipe  for  success  in  the  fixed  mindset,

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their  advice  tended  to  be  short  and  sweet.  “I’m  sorry”  was  the  advice  of  one
child as he offered his condolences.
Even  babies  can  pass  along  the  messages  they’ve  received.  Mary  Main  and
Carol  George  studied  abused  children,  who  had  been  judged  and  punished  by
their parents for crying or making a fuss. Abusive parents often don’t understand
that children’s crying is a signal of their needs, or that babies can’t stop crying
on  command.  Instead,  they  judge  the  child  as  disobedient,  willful,  or  bad  for
crying.
Main and George watched the abused children (who were one to three years
old)  in  their  day  care  setting,  observing  how  they  reacted  when  other  children
were  in  distress  and  crying.  The  abused  children  often  became  angry  at  the
distressed  children,  and  some  even  tried  to  assault  them.  They  had  gotten  the
message that children who cry are to be judged and punished.
We often think that the legacy of abuse gets passed on to others only when the
victims  of  abuse  become  parents.  But  this  amazing  study  shows  that  children
learn lessons early and they act on them.
How  did  nonabused  children  react  to  their  distressed  classmate,  by  the  way?
They  showed  sympathy.  Many  went  over  to  the  crying  child  to  see  what  was
wrong and to see if they could help out.