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HAPPINESS
We all know what happiness is, but achieving it remains the eternal
human challenge. It certainly isn’t about material possessions or financial
wealth: once people are above the poverty level and not stressing about
where their next meal is coming from, psychologists find that there is no
correlation at all between money and happiness. Nor do fame, respect or
reputation create happiness: famous or gifted people are just as prone to
misery as the rest of us (maybe more so if you believe the gossip pages).
The only factors that do seem to correlate with happiness are
connectedness and service. People who have strong family and social
connections, or who serve others in meaningful ways, tend to be happier
than average.
Both traits require well-developed speaking and listening skills. Service
can only be effective if you listen well so that you understand what
someone really needs; good functional relationships are built on clear,
compassionate two-way communication. You’ll be learning skills
throughout this book that will enhance your relationships at work, at
home and in your community, and that will generate greater happiness
for you as a result.
The sound around you also has an impact on your happiness. Noise
creates stress, and often real pain and misery. Pleasing sounds that mean
something to you may instantly make you feel good. We’ll be learning
how to manage sound for greater happiness throughout the book.
EFFECTIVENESS
Many of the people who have come to my trainings say that they are there
because they have the feeling nobody listens to them, or that they can’t
seem to get their passion or their views across to others. Without good
communication, it really is hard to have an impact in life. We can’t all
develop the potent listening of a Mahatma Gandhi or the persuasive
eloquence of a Martin Luther King – but we can all make the most of the
gifts we’ve been given by learning how to use our voice and our ears to
maximum effect.
Speaking and listening are critical skills if you want to make a difference
in the world, to lead and inspire people or to be a great parent. These
things all rely on the power and effectiveness of your speaking and your
listening. Everything in this book is aimed at giving you mastery of these
vital skills.
We’ll also be considering the context for communication throughout the
book. Ambient sound has a real impact on how well we can connect, so
we’ll be exploring how this works and discovering ways to deal with
destructive sound throughout this book.
Ambient sound also has a powerful impact on how well we process
information, so it can dramatically alter how efficient you are in your
work. Simply by listening to your environment and paying attention to its
effects on your communication and thinking, you become able to take
steps to optimise your working conditions and transform your
productivity. This might mean moving away from, or blocking out,
unhelpful, distracting or debilitating sound; or, if you have control over
your space, it might mean identifying the sound that is most productive
for you to work in – something that most people never consider.
Tip: I can’t predict what sound might be best for you to use in working, because we
are all different and your personal associations will be very significant in this
process. Nevertheless, I suggest that you start experimenting with nature sound
that is stochastic, which means composed of many small, random events that
combine to create a pleasing wash with no significant individual events to grab your
attention. Examples are moderate birdsong, gentle rainfall, gentle running water
like babbling streams and small waterfalls or fountains, mild wind in leaves or
grass. Probably best to avoid the soporific sound of soothing surf! If you try music,
then you may find the most productive genres are those with low density, which
means not too many changes in melody, rhythm or dynamics and no significant
major events. Those guidelines may lead you towards reflective styles like ambient
or gentle chamber music, or repetitive styles like trance, techno, chant or modal
music. Styles with strong dynamics and frequent changes are probably more
distracting; these might include full-blown orchestral music, jazz, pop, rock, dance
or urban. Many people, especially youngsters, think they are more productive with
loud, high-density music playing, but in most cases that is true only in that they
are doing the work at all or that they continue to do it for longer: in terms of
output per minute, high-density sound is generally distracting. I do want to
emphasise that we are all different, and I expect that there are some for whom
thrash metal is a very productive backdrop, so please do experiment for yourself
and be open-minded and creative!
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