Scatter Brained

C H A P T E R   7

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186
S C A T T E R B R A I N E D
 Jerusalem. Pope Gregory VIII, taking a new psychological tack, 
declares the recapture punishment for European sin. Feeling 
guilty, European Christians gear up for the Th
 ird Crusade.
1191:
 Richard the Lion-Hearted leads the crusader coalition 
to victory at the Battle of Acre. When Saladin refuses to meet 
treaty terms, Richard shows him who’s boss by killing 5,000 
helpless Muslim prisoners. Saladin still refuses to give up 
Jerusalem.
1198:
 Crusade Numero Four. Pope Innocent III calls for the 
recapture of Jerusalem. Instead of doing that, the crusaders, 
in 1204, somehow get it in their heads to attack Constanti-
nople, even though it is technically a Christian city (albeit an 
Orthodox one).
1209:
 the Albigensian Crusade, which doesn’t get a number 
because instead of Muslims, the pope’s target was a bunch of 
vegetarian  heretics  in  southern  France  called  the  Cathars. 
Th
 is operation is ultimately successful, since the Cathars 
don’t  have  much  of  an  army.  Plus  France  is  a  much  easier 
commute than previous Crusade targets.
1228:
 Sixth Crusade. Holy Roman Emperor Frederick II re-
takes most of Jerusalem, the fi rst victory for Christiandom 
in several decades. It proves to be short-lived. . . .