Scatter Brained

C H A P T E R   8

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S C A T T E R B R A I N E D
SID VICIOUS
Accomplishments:
 early London punk rocker who joined the 
Sex Pistols in 1977 and rocked hard even though he literally 
didn’t know how to play his instrument (the bass)
Drug of Choice:
 heroin. And also anything else.
Consequences:
 An IV-drug user by the age of 17, Vicious 
(probably) killed his girlfriend, Nancy, in a heroin-induced 
haze. A few months later, Vicious overdosed, possibly inten-
tionally, on heroin. He was dead at 21.
NERO
Accomplishments:
 noted Roman emperor (54–68 CE) and 
Christian persecutor
Drug of Choice:
 opium
Consequences:
 Nero didn’t use opium himself; he used it on 
another. Many believe he poisoned his adoptive brother, Bri-
tannicus, to ensure he ascended to the throne. On the long list 
of unlikable Roman emperors, Nero has to be near the top. In 
fact, most biblical scholars believe that the mark of the Beast 
(666) referred to in the Book of Revelation is a numerical rep-
resentation of Nero’s name. And speaking of Revelation . . .
05
  The End of the World: 
Diff erent People’s Conceptions of the End-time
Whether it’s two billion years from now, when the Sun will 
no  longer  provide  enough  heat  to  support  life  on  earth,  or 
two hours from now in a nuclear holocaust, life on earth will 
inevitably  come  to  an  end.  All  religious  traditions  grapple 
with this fact. Here’s what they’ve come up with so far.

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CHRISTIANITY
Things Get Bad:
 At least according to the Book of Revelation, 
things will be very bad indeed. Weeping, gnashing of teeth, 
rending of garments, blood in the streets, etc. All of this will 
occur during “the Tribulation.”
And Then:
 the Second Coming of Christ, wherein Christ—to 
quote the Nicene Creed—“comes again in glory to judge the 
living and the dead.”
Until:
 the Rapture, wherein all Christians (or at least good 
ones, depending on your particular denomination) are moved 
from earth directly to heaven with no dying or passing Go.
ISLAM
Things Get Bad:
 Th
  e Last Judgment in Islam is known as the 
Qiyamah
.
 At a time of God’s choosing—no one knows when—
Jesus (yes, 
that
  Jesus)  will  come  down  from  heaven,  end  all 
wars, and kill ad-Dajjal (Islam’s equivalent to an Antichrist).
And Then:
 Each and every person who ever lived will be 
bodily resurrected and judged by God. Th
  ose found wanting 
will be sent to hell either temporarily or permanently; those 
who have been good and faithful go to heaven.
Until:
 No, that’s it, actually. For the record, most Muslims do 
believe that some “People of the Book,” that is, Christians 
and Jews, will also get to heaven.
JUDAISM
Things Get Bad:
 Th
  e end of days, or 
acharit hayamim,
 will be 
marked by confl ict and tumult. When? Well, the Talmud states 
that the world will only last 6,000 years—so many Orthodox 
Jews believe the world as we’ve always known it will end in 
2240 CE.