Scatter Brained

09
  A Quick History of the Crusades
1095:
 First Crusade. Pope Urban II calls on all good Chris-
tians to come to the aid of the embattled Byzantine Empire 
and take back the Holy Land, since Europe is getting dirty 
and crowded, and the Middle East, as everyone knows, is 
nothing but milk and honey.
1098:
 Jerusalem is captured by the crusaders.
1145:
 Second Crusade. Edessa, an ancient city in the Holy Land, 
is retaken by Turks. Th
  e Vatican calls for a second Crusade, but 
Christendom is still tired from the last one and begs off . Eventu-
ally, Saint Bernard of Clairvaux guilts a few suckers into going.
1187:
  Saladin,  having  united  the  Muslims,  recaptures