Scatter Brained

particles of iron).
Pimples:
 Give yourself a cow 
manure facial (careful, 
folks: Sources say that 
leaving fresh cow manure 
on your face for too long 
will turn your skin green).
Tooth decay:
 Stuff the cavities 
with cow manure. Or salt 
or spiderwebs. Or hen ma-
nure, for variety.
Charles Atlas is believed to have 
posed for the statue of George 
Washington in New York City’s 
Washington Square Park, which 
explains why that particular like-
ness  of  Washington  is  so  incredi-
bly ripped. Speaking of great 
works of art . . .

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from
CRIMINAL ORGANIZATIONS AROUND THE WORLD
RIGHTING HISTORY’S WRONGS
MUSIC AND OPIATES
THE END OF THE WORLD
NOT THE END OF THE WORLD
CANDY IS DANDY
THE POETRY OF DROWNING
GREAT FIRST SENTENCES IN LITER ATURE

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