Ielts sample essays collection

150
words. 
Example 1
The bar charts indicate the percentage of consumption in terms of music albums 
divided by pop music, rock music, and classical music following sex and age. 
At the first glance, we see that the percentage of classical music for over 45 is the 
highest figure while the others 
have
quite lower percentage
s
compare
d
to the age 
range over 45. 
Deleted: 
that 
Comment [A9]: 
You need to include a 
more general Overview if possible.
Deleted: 
are

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Furthermore
, male and female bought pop music 
is 
as 
popular 
as rock music however, 
they consumed less of classical music. In addition, the age range 16 to 24’s 
purchasing trend is very similar with the age range 35 to 44. Both groups purchased 
pop music and rock music as around 30% and 25% each while they barely 
purchased classical music.
Good
More details, 
the
age range 
group of 
25 to 34, take approximately 31% in pop music, 
as same as rock music, and around 17% in classical music. In conclusion, almost 
all 
groups prefer to buy pop music and rock music then classical music apart from the 
group of over 45. 
(170 words)
Score: 6.0 
Detail comments 
(TA) Task Achievement
Candidate addresses the requirements of the task and presents an overview with 
information appropriately selected. There may be inconsistencies in tone. Candidate 
presents and adequately highlights key features/bullet points but details may be 
slightly irrelevant, inappropriate or inaccurate.