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Gestures
I love speaking on stage, partly because it heightens my own
consciousness. I tell the delegates at all my seminars what I’m going to
tell you now:
be conscious of everything, all the time
. Actually, the
whole of this conversation about developing conscious listening and
powerful speaking skills is rooted in a bigger challenge: that of being a
conscious human being. Whether you prefer to think of it as mindfulness,
awareness or consciousness, this state is not easy to maintain in the
modern world, where so much sets out to distract or anaesthetise us,
from TV, mobile music and social media to sugar, carbohydrates and
alcohol – all great in moderation but potentially seductive consciousness-
destroyers when taken in excess.
One significant aspect of developing consciousness in your speaking (and,
to a lesser degree, in your listening) is to make your gestures intentional,
bringing them from the realm of unconscious or habitual into the domain
of your awareness. There are 2 good reasons for doing this. First, you can
make sure that your gestures are congruent, which means they affirm
what you are saying, expressing the same thing in a second way rather
than giving a conflicting message.
Gestures are powerful. Great actors learn to express their character
through iconic, characteristic gestures, as well as the voice and facial
expressions. These gestures are not accidental. The actor Michael
Chekhov (nephew of the great playwright) developed a system that is
used today by many leading actors on stage and screen, from Anthony
Hopkins to Johnny Depp. It contains 5 archetypal gestures: pushing,
pulling, lifting, throwing, and tearing, each of which can be performed in
6 directions (up, down, left, right, forwards, backwards) and with infinite
variations in quality, expressed as adverbs. These express the 6
‘statements of action’ or basic motivations that are at the heart of every
character: I Want - I Reject; I Give - I Take; I Hold My Ground - I Yield.
You can imagine how they work: if a character wants power, their typical
gestures might involve pushing down (on everyone else, metaphorically).
Now, I don’t suggest that you start acting in real life (remember HAIL),
but this technical clarity can be very helpful if you’re planning how to put
across a point of view or a whole talk as powerfully as possible. We can
fall into the habit of using a gesture, or a small set of gestures, all the
time, regardless of the sense of what we are saying. Often, a habitual
gesture like this can undermine our delivery by communicating the exact
opposite!
Tip: The only way to check your own gesturing habits is to video yourself giving a
talk. Make it a long session, so pick a subject you really know, like your life history
or your favourite hobby. Set up the camera to record you full length, press record
and off you go. As you watch the video, ask yourself these questions: are the
gestures congruent? Do I use gesture enough, or too much? Are the gestures too
small, or too large? Are there any habitual gestures that work against what I’m
saying?
Many gestures are regional or even local, and the repertoire changes over
time. The classic Italian hand gesture of fingertips together with thumb
and hand waved up and down (meaning “what???”) is useless in Berlin or
Singapore. Street gangs have their own hand gestures as signs of
membership. Shakespeare’s audiences knew that when Abraham
enquired: “Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?” of Sampson in Romeo and
Juliet, he was speaking of a grossly offensive gesture; today nobody
would turn a hair if you walked down the street biting your thumb.
However, some gestures are globally recognised. One or both arms in the
air for triumph; head in hands for despair; blowing a kiss; a clenched fist;
the now-ubiquitous fist-bump… these are many more that are widely
known and used.
The renowned family therapist and author Virginia Satir suggested that
humans have a set of coping stances when the balance between self, other
and context is lost. These tend to be accompanied by iconic, universally
recognisable gestures:
• blaming - often indicated by pointing or stabbing fingers;
• placating - both hands open, palms upwards, as if to beg, or to reassure
that one is carrying no threat;
• computing - one hand strokes the chin, possibly with the other arm
crossed underneath;
• distracting - wild or irrelevant gestures that change the subject or
distract attention (magicians and pickpockets are very good at this!);
• loving/hating - thumping an invisible table, big open gestures.
Tip:
Be careful if any of these iconic gestures become habits. I have seen entire talks
given with the placator gesture constantly being used. This is a weak gesture unless
you really are appealing for help, and when used incongruently, it severely
undermines content. If you tend to wave your hands in front of you while speaking
(there is nothing wrong with that per se; it can help illustrate cadence and
emphasis), then make sure your hands are vertical, not horizontal with palms up.
You will see many politicians speaking in exactly this way, with 2 hands in front,
moving to emphasise each point, but always vertical, never open-handed.
To be authentic, your gesturing must reflect your character. You may be
wildly expressive, or very controlled and understated. Either way, make
sure that your gestures are congruent and authentic, and most of all make
them conscious and intentional, and you will dramatically increase the
power of your communication.
Exercise: Posture and
stance
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