All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

participate in such Haraam acts, merely on account that 
everyone else is. If she does not attend gatherings where 
Haraam acts are perpetrated then do not force her to go in fear 
of what others will say. Hadhrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi 
(rahmatullah alayh) used to say that in such cases the man must 
clearly mention to the others (if and when they ask him) that he 
does not accept invitations or attend functions where the Laws 
of Allaah Ta`ala are being transgressed. 
Do not abandon your Deeni etiquette when inculcating 
Deen into your wife

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91
We need to accept and admit that one very important aspect of 
attaining piety is to make an effort at reforming and assisting 
others in becoming more aware of Deeni teachings, more 
especially one’s subordinates (wife, children, etc.). However, 
one should always keep in mind not to default on one’s own 
Deeni etiquettes in executing this task. That is, you should not 
insult, degrade, humiliate, etc. 
If for example you see some shortcoming in your wife, then 
you should advise her with affection and explain the proper 
Shar`i perspective. You should not use abusive terms or belittle 
her. You should not speak or admonish your wife when you are 
angry. Speaking when angry always brings regret, because one 
is then bound to say something unsavoury. If you learn any 
Shar`i pointer from an Aalim or Mufti, or you may have read 
about it in some Deeni book, then always first consult an Aalim 
or Mufti with who you have a connection, as to how to 
implement this into your life. Regardless of how learned you 
may regard yourself, you should still attend the gatherings of 
the pious and Ulama. Treat your wife kindly and nurture her 
with affection and intelligently. You will, Insha-Allaah Ta`ala 
see the fruits thereof later in life and strengthen the bonds. If 
you see or hear about anything regarding the Shariah, which 
you feel is lacking in your wife and children, then do not 
hastily reprimand them and make them implement it. First 
consult with a reliable Aalim and act according to his advice.