All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

separate kitchen for your wife.
Status of the husband 
 
Question: 
A woman’s husband is not handsome and this led to 
her being un-attracted to him. Her living with him has become 
difficult and she seeks a 
khula. 
Her parents have told her that it 
is a sin for her to call her husband ‘ugly’. She maintains that to 
‘idolise’ a husband is the trait of the Hindus and that Islaam 
allows for mutual contentment and happiness for both partners. 
Living with her husband has become a faux existence and a 
mere charade, hence she seeks a 
khula
. The question is whether 
the wife should ‘idolise’ her husband or not? If this is the case, 
then the ‘disrespect’ shown by the wife (by disliking her 
husband’s features) would be tantamount to a great sin. 
Answer:
Allaah Ta`ala has made the man the 
Haakim
(ruler/governor) of his wife. However, he is neither her true 
provider nor is he to be ‘idolised’. He is not allowed to oppress 
his wife, abuse her or belittle and disgrace her. That husband 
who exceeds the bounds with regard his wife is amongst the 
worst specimens on earth. A man is supposed to treat his wife 
kindly. As for those how have been oppressive in the past, they 
should seek forgiveness. 
To regard the husband as a ‘god-like’ figure is the trait of the 
Hindus and not Muslims. However, the wife should hold her 
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husband in high esteem and grant him due honour and dignity, 
to such an extent that she should not address by his name, but 
rather use some suitable and appropriate term of endearment. 
However, if the wife does not like her husband due to perhaps 
his features, character, impiety, etc. then she does have the 
option of requesting 
Khula
.
The wife should not be prevented from fulfilling her Shar`i 
duties
It is appropriate that we now offer some advice to those 
individuals who are not so Deeni-conscious. We make dua that 
Allaah Ta`ala make us all Deeni-conscious, such that we are 
able to constantly keeping mind and differentiate between 
Halaal and Haraam, permissible and impermissible, right and 
wrong, etc. We humbly request that you also read the following 
advices with due attention: 
1). 
If your wife is, Alhamdulillah, of proper Aqaaid and she 
abstains from acts of bid’ah, and she has a good Deeni 
background, then why should you, merely on account of being 
her husband impose on her such tasks and requests where she 
has to commit disobedience to Allaah Ta`ala or where she 
wastes her time and is not able to fulfil some Deeni task? Any 
‘Deeni’ act which was not carried out by Nabi (sallallahu alayhi 
wasallam) or the Sahaabah (radhiallahu anhum), like 
Chaaliswa, urs, meelad
, etc. are such acts which are accretions 
and innovations in the Deen. They should be abandoned. Do 
not yourself or allow our wife to participate in such acts and all 
customary un-Islaamic traditions, regardless of whether your 
mother and family are involved or have always been involved. 
2). 
If your wife adopts full Hijaab, as the Shariah 
commands, to such an extent that she does not even appear 
bareheaded before a Christian nurse, what harm will this do to 

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