All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

“O Allaah 
Ta`ala make this Kitaab a means of my guidance. Make my 
wife and children a coolness to my eyes, help me to fulfil their 
rights and treat them with excellent morals and character.”
2). 
There is one important request -- Please try to read this 
Kitaab from beginning to end, even though it may take a month 
or more, do not be concerned, but try to read it completely. If 
possible, you should try to allocate a certain number of pages 
every day for reading, and when you have read your allotted 
amount, place a book marker and continue the next day. 
3). 
Another important request is that you keep a pencil 
handy whist studying this Kitaab. Wherever you see a point 
which you feel you are lacking in, mark it. Read that portion 
again and again and make dua that Allaah Ta`ala guide you to 
rectify yourself. Another reason for having to keep a pencil 
handy is that if during your reading of this Kitaab, you come 
across some part, which you feel if discussed will remove the 
misapprehensions of someone, or that something would be of 
4
benefit to a Muslim man, be he a husband, father, son, uncle, 
etc., or if you feel that some part of some chapter may have 
been omitted or that it could be further discussed to throw more 
light on the subject, then do list these views of yours down and 
explain in detail what your thoughts are, and thereafter we 
request that you kindly post these views of yours to the author 
[translator, in this case] so that, if need be, we may add it to 
future publications. May Allaah Ta`ala reward you greatly for 
this service. 
Whilst reading this Kitaab, do make dua for all Muslim 
couples, all over the world, that Allaah Ta`ala grant all of them 
mutual love and understanding and also that He make them all 
a means for bringing good and pious Muslim children into this 
world. Make dua everyday that wherever in the world a Muslim 
couple is getting married, that Allaah Ta`ala create beneficial 
and love and affection between them.
Whilst reading this Kitaab reflect on your own shortcomings 
and faults. It must not be that when you come across some fault 
or shortcoming mentioned which pertain to a woman that you 
immediately think to yourself, 
“My wife has this fault”
or 
“My 
brother-in-law/father-in-law has this fault”
. You should 
convince yourself that if you correct yourself and your faults, 
then Allaah Ta`ala will make it a means and grant Barkat that 
your wife and whoever else may be interfering in your life, be 
guided and corrected. Upon having read this Kitaab you should 
also direct others to it. 
Finally we request that you include in your duas, the author, 
translator, publisher and all who had been involved in the 
completion of this Kitaab. 
 

---

3
How to go about reading this Kitaab 
Since this Kitaab is important and for the benefit of one’s 
family life, and if the family unit is in order then society as a 
whole benefits, therefore we humbly request that this entire 
Kitaab, with all its chapters, be read with proper attention and 
due consideration. Whatever shortcomings one notes in one’s 
life, (and most men, due to not being learned or inexperienced, 
do perpetrate), then proper attention should be diverted in 
making an earnest effort at reforming oneself, and a sincere 
intention must be made not to commit the same errors in future. 
We are hopeful that with these requests in mind, this Kitaab be 
studied with intense attention.
1). 
Before reading this Kitaab make the dua, 
“O Allaah 
Ta`ala make this Kitaab a means of my guidance. Make my 
wife and children a coolness to my eyes, help me to fulfil their 
rights and treat them with excellent morals and character.”
2). 
There is one important request -- Please try to read this 
Kitaab from beginning to end, even though it may take a month 
or more, do not be concerned, but try to read it completely. If 
possible, you should try to allocate a certain number of pages 
every day for reading, and when you have read your allotted 
amount, place a book marker and continue the next day. 
3). 
Another important request is that you keep a pencil 
handy whist studying this Kitaab. Wherever you see a point 
which you feel you are lacking in, mark it. Read that portion 
again and again and make dua that Allaah Ta`ala guide you to 
rectify yourself. Another reason for having to keep a pencil 
handy is that if during your reading of this Kitaab, you come 
across some part, which you feel if discussed will remove the 
misapprehensions of someone, or that something would be of 
4
benefit to a Muslim man, be he a husband, father, son, uncle, 
etc., or if you feel that some part of some chapter may have 
been omitted or that it could be further discussed to throw more 
light on the subject, then do list these views of yours down and 
explain in detail what your thoughts are, and thereafter we 
request that you kindly post these views of yours to the author 
[translator, in this case] so that, if need be, we may add it to 
future publications. May Allaah Ta`ala reward you greatly for 
this service. 
Whilst reading this Kitaab, do make dua for all Muslim 
couples, all over the world, that Allaah Ta`ala grant all of them 
mutual love and understanding and also that He make them all 
a means for bringing good and pious Muslim children into this 
world. Make dua everyday that wherever in the world a Muslim 
couple is getting married, that Allaah Ta`ala create beneficial 
and love and affection between them.
Whilst reading this Kitaab reflect on your own shortcomings 
and faults. It must not be that when you come across some fault 
or shortcoming mentioned which pertain to a woman that you 
immediately think to yourself, 
“My wife has this fault”
or 
“My 
brother-in-law/father-in-law has this fault”
. You should 
convince yourself that if you correct yourself and your faults, 
then Allaah Ta`ala will make it a means and grant Barkat that 
your wife and whoever else may be interfering in your life, be 
guided and corrected. Upon having read this Kitaab you should 
also direct others to it. 
Finally we request that you include in your duas, the author, 
translator, publisher and all who had been involved in the 
completion of this Kitaab. 
 

---

5
THE FIRST STEP IN A MARITAL 
RELATIONSHIP 
Choosing a pious wife 
Choosing of one’s life-companion or marriage-partner is a very 
delicate, difficult and arduous step. Hastening and rushing this 
stage can be very detrimental. Similarly, disappointment and 
losing hope are also fatal poisons.
If one or two places are proposed to and the reply came in the 
negative, then the house-people lose hope and feel that they 
will never get a partner for their son and no one wants to give 
their daughter to their son, so they feel that the first willing girl 
they find, they will get him married there, regardless of whether 
she is suitable for him or not. 
In this way, a good educated boy is married off to a girl with 
whom there is no compatibility, and they spend their entire 
lives in misery, fights and arguments, such that many even end 
up in divorce. 
It is therefore imperative that the groom also keep his senses 
about him and not lose hope. His family should also attend to 
this matter with intelligence and they should all make dua that 
Allaah Ta`ala guide them all to a good and suitable marriage