The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted

BONUS STRATEGY #4: SAY NO
BY CATEGORY
D
o you receive the same type of requests on a regular
basis? When you’re approached with them, is your first
inclination to decline? If so, this strategy will save you a
significant amount of time. It’ll also prevent the requestor
from becoming angry because your refusal to help won’t be
taken as a personal rejection.
Here’s how it works:
Suppose you’re regularly asked by coworkers to help
with accounting-related projects. Such projects lie outside
the scope of your job responsibilities. But your coworkers
know that you majored in accounting in college, and
therefore you’re considered a knowledgable resource.
The problem is, you’re approached for help so often that
accommodating these requests is preventing you from
attending to your own responsibilities.
One solution is to decide that you’ll no longer assist
your coworkers on accounting-related tasks. You decide to
turn down this entire category of requests. Over time, your
coworkers will become informed of your decision, and begin
to look elsewhere for help.
This strategy isn’t just effective for the workplace. It can
work in your personal life, too. It did for me.
Recall the section My Past Life As A People Pleaser. You
may remember that, during my college years, I was the go-

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to person for helping people move. I owned a pickup truck,
and was inclined to say yes to every request. Those two
factors made me a perfect candidate for the job.
At a certain point, however, I became resentful. I began
to feel that I was being taken for granted. So I stopped
accepting “invitations” to help people move. When asked to
help, I simply replied, “I don’t help people move anymore.”
It didn’t take long for people to stop asking me. And
importantly, I didn’t lose any true friends. Nor did I become
the subject of disdain or ridicule. I simply stopped receiving
this type of request.
You can also reject requests during certain times of the
day. Returning to our previous example, suppose you’re
willing to continue helping your coworkers on accounting-
related projects. But you decide to turn down any request
that requires your attention between 9:00 a.m. and 12:00
noon, your most productive hours.
Or you may decide to turn down all requests that
require more than 30 minutes of your time during the
workweek. For example, you’re willing to help a friend pack
up a few boxes in preparation for a move. But you’re
unwilling to transport the boxes to his or her new residence,
which is located two hours away.
When you begin turning down requests based on a