The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted

BONUS STRATEGY #3:
CONFRONT YOUR FEAR OF
MISSING OUT
T
he fear of missing out (FOMO) motivates many of us to
say yes, even when we lack the time, energy, or money to
do so with confidence. We cringe at the mere possibility that
we might let an opportunity slip through our fingers. So we
say yes when we know we should say no.
For example, we accept an invitation to a party just in
case someone we want to meet is in attendance. The
chance that this person will show up is small, but we don’t
want to miss out in the event he or she does.
Or we agree to take on a big project at the office
because doing so might lead to a promotion down the road.
In reality, the odds that it’ll do so are tiny. But we say yes
because we don’t want to miss out if there’s the slightest
chance.
According to psychologists, the fear of missing out is
serious enough to induce anxiety in many people. It can
even be the cause of compulsive behavior, such as checking
email and Facebook messages every few minutes.
Most of us struggle with FOMO to some extent. The
important thing is to recognize its role in prompting us to
say yes without first considering whether doing so is a good
idea.

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For example, suppose you have an opportunity to
manage a new project at your job. You’re inclined to say yes
because there’s a chance that taking it on might advance
your career.
But there are probably concealed costs associated with
managing this project. For example, saying yes to this
project means you must say no to others, some of which
might offer better odds of career advancement.
Also, consider your availability given what’s already on
your plate. Do you have enough time to take on another
project? If not, taking it on is likely to have a negative
impact on your current responsibilities. Falling behind and
turning in shoddy work is more likely to hurt your career
than help it.
Take stock of whether the fear of missing out is spurring
you to say yes when you’re better off saying no. If it is, you
must train yourself to control it.
It’ll take time and patience, and perhaps even a bit of
courage. The next time you instinctively want to say yes to
an offer, request, or invitation, stop. Take a moment to think
it through. Are you willing to say yes because there’s a high
likelihood that doing so will pay dividends? Or are you
saying yes simply because you fear missing out on an
opportunity?
Accept that many opportunities seem promising, but are
a waste of time and energy. You probably know this from
experience. When your inner opportunist rears its head,
have the courage to say no, even if doing so means you
might miss out.
It’ll be difficult in the beginning, especially if you
struggle with FOMO. But rest assured, it gets easier with
time and consistent application. And once you successfully
curb your fear of missing out, you’ll find it easier to decline
requests that threaten to stretch you too thin.

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