Scatter Brained

C H A P T E R   8

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202
S C A T T E R B R A I N E D
And Then:
 All of Israel’s enemies will be defeated, the twice-
destroyed Temple will be rebuilt, the dead will be resurrected, 
and the Jewish Messiah will become King of Israel.
Until:
 God intervenes in the Battle of Armageddon, saving 
the Jews, evil leaves the world, and earth becomes perfect. 
It’s like that Belinda Carlisle song: “Th
  ey say in heaven love 
comes fi rst/We’ll make heaven a place on earth.”
BUDDHISM
Things Get Bad:
 According to the Buddhist holy scripture, the 
Tipitaka, we’ll know the end of the world is coming when mo-
rality disappears and people start following the “10 Amoral 
Concepts.” Th
  ose concepts? Th
  eft, violence, murder, lying, evil 
speaking, adultery, idle talk, covetousness, greed, and per-
verted lust. Um, uh-oh.
And Then:
 Once morality disappears, things will degenerate 
into misery.
Until:
  A  Buddha  named  Maitreya  (known  in  English  as  the 
“future Buddha”), the successor to the Buddha we all know 
and love, will arrive on earth and begin teaching the pure 
Dharma.
HINDUISM
Things Get Bad:
  Most  Hindus  believe  that  we  are  cur-
rently living  in 
Kali Yuga,
 the Iron Age, or age of darkness. 
 Unfortunately for us, that means that evil is on the upswing. 
Eventually, Vishnu will become incarnate for the 10th and fi -
nal time. By then, karma will have been completely turned on 
its head, with good people suff ering needlessly and the evil 
 rising to ranks of power.

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203
And Then:
 Shiva, “the Destroyer,” will dissolve the evil and 
corrupt universe. And then, because all things are cyclical, 
the universe will simultaneously be reborn.
Until:
 We start getting evil again and get ourselves into an-
other age of darkness. Most Hindus are careful not to put an 
exact time frame on eschatological matters. If you do, you 
can end up looking awfully foolish. . . .