Because I was looking at his car? Why should that make him mad?
Good
question. But it had, that was obvious.
"I was looking over your mean machine," I said, trying to sound casual.
"Where's Leigh?"
"She had to go to the Ladies", he said, dismissing her. His gray eyes never
left my face. "Dennis, you're the best friend I've got, the best friend I've ever
had. You might have saved me a trip to the hospital the other day when
Repperton pulled that knife, and I know it. But don't you go behind my back,
Dennis. Don't you ever do that."
From the playing field there was a tremendous cheer the Hillmen had just
made the final score of the game, with less than thirty seconds to play.
"Arnie, I don't know what the hell you're talking about, I said, but I felt guilty.
I felt guilty the way I had felt being introduced to Leigh, sizing her up,
wanting her a little wanting the girl he so obviously wanted himself. But…
going behind his back? Was that what I had been doing?
I suppose he could have seen it that way. I had known that his irrational—
interest, obsession, put it however you like—his irrational
thing
about the
car was the locked room in the house of our friendship, the place I could not
go without inviting all sorts of trouble. And if he hadn't caught me trying to
jimmy the door, he had at least come upon me trying to peek through a
keyhole.
"I think you know
exactly
what I'm talking about." he said, and I saw with a
tired sort of dismay that he was not just a little mad; he was furious. "You and
my father and mother are all spying on me "for my own good", that's the way
it is, isn't it? They sent you down to Darnell's Garage, to snoop around, didn't
they?"
"Hey, Arnie, wait just a—"
"Boy, did you think I wouldn't find out? I didn't say anything then—because
we're friends. But I don't know, Dennis. There has to be a line, and I think I'm
drawing it. Why don't you just leave my car alone and stop butting in where
you don't belong?"
"First of all," I said, "it wasn't your father
and
your mother. Your father got
me alone and asked me if I'd take a look at what you were doing with the car.
I said sure I would, I was curious myself. Your dad has always been okay to
me. What was I supposed to say?"
"You were supposed to say no."
"You don't get it. He's on your side. Your mother still hopes it doesn't come to
anything—that was the idea I got—but Michael really hopes you get it
running. He said so."
"Sure, that's the way he'd come on to you." He was almost sneering. "Really
all he's interested in is making sure I'm still hobbled. That's what they're both
interested in. They don't want me to grow up because then they'd have to face
getting old."
"That's too hard, man."
"Maybe you think so. Maybe coming from a halfway-normal family makes
you soft in the head, Dennis. They offered me a new car for high school
graduation, did you know that? All I had to do was give up Christine, make
all A's, and agree to go to Horlicks… where they could keep me in direct
view for another four years."
I didn't know what to say. That was pretty crass, all right.
"So just butt out of it, Dennis. That's all I'm saying. We'll both be better off."
"I didn't tell him anything, anyhow," I said. "Just that you were doing a few
things here and there. He seemed sort of relieved."
"Yeah, I'll bet."
"I didn't have any idea it was as close to street-legal as it is. But it isn't all
the way yet. I looked underneath, and that header pipe's a mess. I hope you're
driving with your windows open."
"Don't tell me how to drive it! I know more about what makes cars run than
you ever will!"
That was when I started to get pissed off at him. I didn't like it—I didn't want
to have an argument with Arnie, especially not now, when Leigh would be
joining him in another moment—but I could feel somebody upstairs in the
brain-room starting to pull those red switches, one by one.
"That's probably true," I said, controlling my voice. "But I'm not sure how
much you know about people. Will Darnell gave you an improper sticker—if
you got picked up he could lose his state inspection certificate. He gave you
a dealer plate. Why did he do those things, Arnie?"
For the first time Arnie seemed defensive. "I told you. He knows I'm doing
the work."
"Don't be a numbskull. That guy wouldn't give a crippled crab a crutch unless
there was something in it for him, and you know it."
"Dennis, will you leave it alone, for God's sake?"
"Man," I said, stepping toward him, "I don't give a fuck if you have a car. I
just don't want you in a bind over it. Sincerely."
He looked at me uncertainly.
"I mean, what are we yelling at each other about? Because I looked
underneath your car to see how the exhaust-pipe was hanging?"
But that hadn't been all I was doing. Some… but not quite all. And I think we
both knew it.
On the playing field, the final gun went off with a flat bang. A slight drizzle
had started to come down, and it was getting cold. We turned toward the
sound of the gun and saw Leigh coming toward us, carrying her pennant and
Arnie's. She waved. We waved back.
"Dennis, I can take care of myself," he said.
"Okay," I said simply. "I hope you can." Suddenly I wanted to ask him how
deep he was in with Darnell. And that was a question I couldn't ask; that
would bring on an even more bitter argument. Things would be said that
could maybe never be repaired.
"I can," he repeated. He touched his car, and the hard took in his eyes
softened.
I felt a mixture of relief and dismay—the relief because we weren't going to
have a fight after all; we had both managed to avoid saying anything
completely irreparable. But it also seemed to me that it wasn't just one room
of our friendship that had been closed off; it was a whole damn wing. He had
rejected what I'd had to say with complete totality and had made the
conditions for continuing the friendship pretty clear: everything will be okay
as long as you do it my way.
Which was also his parents' attitude, if only he could have seen it. But then, I
suppose he had to learn it somewhere.
Leigh came up, drops of rain gleaming in her hair. Her color was high, her
eyes sparkling with good health and good excitement. She exuded a. naive
and untested sexuality that made me feet a little light-headed. Not that I was
the main object of her attention; Arnie was.
"How did it end?" Arnie asked.
"Twenty-seven to eighteen," she said, and then added gleefully, "We
destroyed
them. Where were you two?"
"Just talking cars," I said, and Arnie shot me an amused glance—at least his
sense of humor hadn't disappeared with his common sense. And I thought
there was some cause for hope in the way he looked at her. He was falling
for her, head over heels. The tumble was slow right now, but it would almost
surely speed up if things went right. I was really curious about how it had
happened, the two of them getting together. Arnie's complexion had cleared
up and he looked pretty good, but in a rather bookish, bespectacled sort of
way. He wasn't the sort of guy you'd have expected Leigh Cabot to want to be
with; you'd expect her to be hanging from the arm of the American high
school version of Apollo.
People were streaming back across the field now, our players and theirs, our
fans and theirs.
"Just talking cars," Leigh repeated, mocking softly. She turned her face up to
Arnie's and smiled. He smiled back, a sappy, dopey smile that did my heart a
world of good. I could tell, just looking at him, that whenever Leigh smiled at
him that way, Christine was the farthest thing from his mind; she was
demoted back to her proper place as an it, a means of transportation.
I liked that just fine.
Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |