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No-Risk Praise (Do It Behind Their Back)



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How to Talk to Anyone 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Leil Lowndes) (z-lib.org)

No-Risk Praise (Do It Behind Their Back)
Instead of telling someone directly of your admiration, tell some-
one who is close to the person you wish to compliment. For
instance, suppose you want to be in the good graces of Jane Smith.
Don’t directly compliment Jane. Go to her close associate Diane
Doe and say, “You know, Jane is a very dynamic woman. She said
something so brilliant in the meeting the other day. Someday she’ll
be running this company.” I place ten-to-one odds your comment
will get back to Jane via the grapevine in twenty-four hours. Diane
will tell her friend, “You should hear what so ’n’ so said about you
the other day.”
When you gave Grapevine Glory to Jane, Diane became the
carrier pigeon of that compliment. Which leads us to the next
technique where you become the carrier pigeon of other people’s
compliments.
How to Compliment Someone (Without Sounding Like You’re Brownnosing)
203
Technique #51
Grape vine Glory
A compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one
he overhears. A priceless way to praise is not by
telephone, not by telegraph, but by tell-a-friend. This
way you escape possible suspicion that you are an
apple-polishing, bootlicking, egg-sucking, back-
scratching sycophant trying to win brownie points. You
also leave recipients with the happy fantasy that you are
telling the whole world about their greatness.
06 (199-228B) part six 8/14/03 9:18 AM Page 203


Carrier pigeons have a long and valiant history. The dauntless
winged messengers, often maimed by shellfire and dying after
delivering their messages, have saved the lives of thousands. One
tenacious little bird named Cher Ami is credited with saving two
hundred lives during the Battle of the Argonne in World War I.
The brave one-legged little birdie, one of his wings shot through,
carried a message dangling from his remaining ligament. The
blood-smeared little ball of feathers arrived just in time to warn
that the Germans were about to bomb the city.
Stumpy Joe, another plucky pigeon, had such a heroic battle-
scarred career that his fans stuffed him, mounted him, and put
him on display in the National Air Force Museum in Dayton,
Ohio. And millions of other brave birds have brought joyful mes-
sages to racing-pigeon enthusiasts around the world. In that fine
tradition, I present the complimenting technique I call “Carrier
Pigeon Kudos.”
Whenever you hear a laudatory comment about someone,
don’t let it end there. You don’t need to write it, roll it up in a cap-
sule, strap it to your leg like Stumpy Joe, and fly it to the recipi-
ent. Nevertheless, you can remember the kudo and verbally carry
it to the person who will get the most pleasure—the person who
was complimented.
204
How to Be a 
“Carrier Pigeon” of
Good Feelings

52
06 (199-228B) part six 8/14/03 9:18 AM Page 204
Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.


Keep your ears open for good things people say about each
other. If your colleague Carl says something nice about another
colleague, Sam, pass it on. “You know, Sam, Carl said the nicest
thing about you the other day.”
Your sister tells you your first cousin is a dynamite relative. Go
ahead and call Cuz’.
Your mother tells you she thinks Manny did a great job mow-
ing the lawn. Pass it on to him. Hey, we all like a little apprecia-
tion, even from Mom.
Here’s where it benefits you. Everyone loves the bearer of glad
tidings. When you bring someone third-party kudos, they appre-
ciate you as much as the complimenter. Call it gossip if you like.
This is the good kind.

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