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How to Talk to Anyone 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Leil Lowndes) (z-lib.org)


partners’ movements with Be a Copyclass, echo their words, evoke
Potent Images from their world, create a bond through their pri-
mary sense with Anatomically Correct Empathizers, and establish
subliminal friendship with words like 
we
.
What else do friends, lovers, and close associates have in com-
mon? A history. The final technique in this section is a device to
give a fairly new acquaintance the warm and fuzzy feeling the two
of you have been together for a long, long time.
194
How to Talk to Anyone
Technique #49
The Premature 
W
E
Create the sensation of intimacy with someone even if
you’ve met just moments before. Scramble the signals
in their psyche by skipping conversational levels one
and two and cutting right to levels three and four.
Elicit intimate feelings by using the magic words 
we
,
us
, and 
our
.
05 (171-198B) part five 8/14/03 9:18 AM Page 194


Lovers whisper phrases in each others’ ears that mean nothing to
anyone but themselves. Friends crack up over a few words that
sound like gobbledygook to anyone overhearing them. Close busi-
ness associates chuckle about shared experiences.
One company I’ve worked with has seen reengineering,
empowerment, TQM, and team building come and go in one
decade. At company parties, the employees never fail to crack up
over the time when the whole company—managers to mail-room
clerks—scrambled up a twenty-nine-foot pole together all in the
name of team building. The CEO slipped down the pole and
broke his big toe. At the next weekly meeting, the CEO shook his
crutch and caustically announced, “No more team exercises!”
Thus, the death of team building—and the birth of a private joke.
Out of shared experiences like this, a company culture grows.
These employees have a history and a language to go with it. To
this day, whenever they want to put an abrupt end to any idea,
they say, “Let’s shake a crutch at it” or “Let’s slide that one down
the flagpole.” They all smile. Nobody knows what they mean
except fellow employees.
The playwright Neil Simon, sometimes with a single word,
can make an entire Broadway audience understand two perform-
195
How to Create a
Friendly “Private Joke”
with Them

50
05 (171-198B) part five 8/14/03 9:18 AM Page 195
Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.


196
How to Talk to Anyone
ers onstage are either married or longtime friends. The actor sim-
ply says something to the actress that makes no sense to the audi-
ence. Then both of them laugh uproariously. Everybody gets the
message: these two people are an item.
Every time my friend Daryl and I meet, we don’t say “Hello.”
We say “Quack.” Why? We met at a party five years ago and, in
our first conversation, Daryl told me he grew up on a duck farm.
When I told him I’d never seen a duck farm, he performed the
best human imitation of a duck I’d ever seen. He flipped his head
side to side looking at me first out of one eye, then the other, all
the while flapping his arms and quacking. I got such a laugh out
of his performance that it inspired him to do a full flat-footed duck
waddle for me. It was contagious. Together we waddled around
the room flapping and quacking. We made absolute fools of our-
selves that evening.
The next day, my phone rang. I picked up the receiver to hear,
not “Hello, this is Daryl,” but simply, “Quack.” I’m sure that’s

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