Carry More Cargo than Compliments
Another way to warm hearts and win friends is to become a car-
rier pigeon of news items that might interest the recipient. Call,
mail, or E-mail people with information they might find interest-
How to Be a “Carrier Pigeon” of Good Feelings
205
Technique #52
Carrier Pigeon Kudos
People immediately grow a beak and metamorphosize
themselves into carrier pigeons when there’s bad news.
(It’s called gossip.) Instead, become a carrier of good
news and kudos. Whenever you hear something
complimentary about someone, fly to them with the
compliment. Your fans may not posthumously stuff
you and put you on display in a museum like Stumpy
Joe. But everyone loves the carrier pigeon of kind
thoughts.
06 (199-228B) part six 8/14/03 9:18 AM Page 205
ing. If your friend Ned is a furniture designer in North Carolina
and you see a big article in the
Los Angeles Times
about furniture
trends, fax it to him. If your client Sally is a sculptor in Seattle and
you see her work in someone’s home in New York, send her a note.
My friend Dan lives in San Francisco, and whenever he runs
across anything in the paper on communications, he clips it and
sends it to me. No note, just “FYI—Regards, Dan” in the corner.
He’s like my own private West Coast clipping service.
Try it. Think of the money you’ll save on greeting cards. A
relevant clipping is the big winner’s way of saying, “I’m thinking
of you and your interests.”
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How to Talk to Anyone
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Here’s yet another caress for someone’s ego. Don’t give a blatant
compliment. Merely imply something magnificent about your con-
versation partner. Several months ago, I was visiting an old friend
in Denver whom I hadn’t seen in a long time. When he came to
my hotel to pick me up, he said, “Hello, Leil, how are you?” Then
he paused, looked at me, and said, “You’ve obviously been well.”
Wow, I felt terrific. He implied I looked good and that made my
evening.
Guess the Good Lord decided I shouldn’t have too swollen a
head, however, because later that evening, after my friend dropped
me off, I got into the hotel elevator. A maintenance man entered
at the third floor. He smiled at me. I smiled back. He looked at
me again and said, “Gosh, ma’am, was you a model? [Oh, man,
was I feeling on top of the world now!] . . . when you was young?”
he continued.
CRASH! Why couldn’t he have zipped his lip before the
zinger? I loved the implication in the first part of his comment.
But the second implied I was now an old lady. Ruined my next
day. Heck, his unintentional low blow ruined my week. In fact I
still feel wretched about it.
207
How to Make ’Em Feel
Your Admiration “Just
Slipped Out”
✰
53
06 (199-228B) part six 8/14/03 9:18 AM Page 207
Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.
You have to be careful of unintentional bad implications. If,
visiting a new city, you stop someone on the street and say, “Excuse
me, could you tell me if there are any fine dining restaurants
nearby?” you are implying the passerby is a person of taste. If,
however, you ask that same passerby, “Hey, know any down and
dirty bars in this burg?” your implication is entirely different. Find
a way to imply magnificent qualities of those you wish to indi-
rectly compliment.
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How to Talk to Anyone
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