Ielts sample essays collection

participate
more in 
2014 
compared
with 2008.
(171 words) 
Score: 6.0 
Detail comments
(TA) Task Achievement
Addresses the requirements of the task and presents an overview with information 
appropriately selected
Presents and adequately highlights key features/ bullet points but details may be 
irrelevant, inappropriate or inaccurate 
(CC) Coherence and Cohesion
Arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression 
Uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences 
may be faulty or mechanical 
(LR) Lexical Resource
 
Comment [5]: 
This would be better in
the body of the text when analysing
the graphs` 
Deleted: 
participation
Comment [6]: 
This is an unnecessary 
repeat of the introduction 
Deleted: 
sport
Deleted: 
compares

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- 26 - 
IELTS SAMPLE ESSAYS COLLECTION 
VOLUME 1 – Academic Training 
http://ieltsonlinetests.com
 
Uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task 
(GRA) Grammatical Range and Accuracy
 
Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms 
 
Example 2 
The first line chart shows how much money
is
spent on children’s sports activities in 
the UK from 2008 to 2014. 
The average monthly expenditure 
has
seen a gradual upward trend, rising from 20 to 
approximately 32 pounds per month in 2014.
The second graph compares how many children 
are 
participating in three types of 
sport. It is clear that football was the most popular sport throughout the period. The 
number of children who had taken part in this sport remained unchanged in the first 
two years before increasing slightly to around 8.5 million in 2012 and then had 
maintained this level by 2014. Similarly, the rise was also observed in the number of 
young swimmers, with the figure rising gradually from 2 million to around 3.5 million 
in 2014. There was a different trend in the popularity of athletics. Although this 
activity attracted merely 0.5 million of young players in the first two years, the figure 
for this sport overtook that of swimming in 2011 and increased dramatically to 
around 5 million in 2014, which had become the second popular choice in 2014, 
despite a slight dip in the last two years.
Overall, British parents paid more attention to their children’s sports hobbies, which 
could be shown in the growth of popularity among all three sports.