Beflhwh nana, Boraxwh hana

BeflHWH nana, BoraxwH Hana


59


^OBCpHTbCa BHyTpCHHCH My^pOCTH, 3TOMy rCHHro BH^'TpH Cc6a, 6onb'

fflHHCTBO nro,^CH CMCfflHBacTca c ToanoH. Ohh ^caaroT hto-to noTOMy, HTO BCC AcaaroT 3to. Hm npo^c no^HHHaTbCa o6^hm npaBHaaM, hc^chh CTaBHTb BonpoCH. HaCTO aro,aH 5c3^yMHO noBToparoT npoflcaaHHoc ^pyrHMH. KaKyro H^cro Bw5cpyT TaKHc aro,aH: HHBcCTHpoBaTb ^cnbrH bo

HTO-TO HHH “mOH ^OM - MOH aKTHB”? OhH BH^cpyT “mOH ^OM - MOH aKTHB”, “moh ^om - CaMoc Moc KpynHoc bho^chhc”. Ohh Bn5cpyT Hc3HaHHTcabHoc o^hcthchhc HaaoroBoro 5pcmchh, hto5h 3aac3Tb r.ry5^c b ^ohth. “H^h 5c3onaCHyro pa5oTy”. “Hc ^onyCKaH oraH5oK”. “Hc pHCKyH”.

CTpax Toro, a hto ara,aH CKa^yT, mhothx y^aCHcc CTpaxa ncpc^

CMcpTbra. HCHxoaorH roBopsT, hto 3tot CTpax BH3HBacTCa 5oa3Hbra OCTpaKH3Ma, 5o33Hbra BH^caaTbCa Ha o5^cm ^ohc, 5oa3Hbra kphthkh, HaCMcracK, 5O33Hbra CTaTb H3THaHHHKOM. CTpax 5HTb Hc TaKHM, KaK bcc, McraacT MHOTHM HCKaTb hobhc HyTH pcracHHs cbohx npo5acM.

BoT HOHcMy MOH o5pa3OBaHHHH OTcP rOBOpHH MHc, HTO 3HOHPH

5oabrac bccto pchhhh CHay 3cpKaaa, t.k. aHrab Tor,aa, Kor,aa ara,aH cmot- paT B 3cpKaao (t.c. HO3HaraT cc5a), ohh Haxo^aT HpaB^y. rraBHaa HpH- HHHa Toro, HTO 5OHbraHHCTBO Hra,acH rOBOpST: “flcHCTByH HaBcpHSKa” - CTpax. A CTpax hh k HcMy xoporacMy hc hphbo^ht, 5y,ab to b CHopTc, B3aHMOOTHoracHHax, Kapbcpc, ^cHbrax.

CTpax ocTpaKH3Ma ToaKacT ara,acH na koh^opmh3m, na ho^hhhc- HHc o5^cCTBcHHOMy MHcHHM: “TboH ^OM - TBOH aKTHB”. “EcpH ccy,ay H BH^cpcrabca H3 ^oaroB”. “Tpy,^HCb yccp^Hcc”. “3to - HOBHracHHc”. “Kor,aa-HH5y,ab a CTany bhpc-hpc3h^chtom”. “OKOHOMb ^cnbrH”, “Kor- ^a mhc HOBHC3T ^aaoBaHHc, a KyHara ^om Ho5oabrac”. “Tocy,aapcTBcH- hhc HpopcHTHHc 5yMaTH - Ha^c^Hcc”.

Mhoto 5oHbraHx ^HHaHCOBHx Hpo5acM BH3BaHH tcm, HTO ara,aH CTpcMSTca HOCTyHaTb, KaK Bcc. Ho xoTa 5h H3pc^Ka bccm h^m ny^HO

HOCMOTpcTb B 3cpKaaO, HTo5h CHpaBc^aHBO OTHcCTHCb K CBOcH BHyT- pchhcH My,apocTH, a hc pyKOBO^CTBOBaTbca CTpaxaMH.

K TOMy bpcmchh, KaK HaM c MaHKOM CTyKHyao 16, y Hac b raKoac HaHaaHCb hpo5hcmh. Mh hc 5hhh hhoxhmh pc5sTaMH. Mh HpocTO Ha- HaaH OT^caaTbca ot tohhh. Mh pa5oTaaH Ha OTpa MaHKa Hocac raKoaH H HO bhxo^hhm. HacTO MaHK H a HpoBO^HaH ^ohthc HacH Hocac pa5oTH, CH^a 3a CToaoM c cro otpom, Kor,aa oh HpoBO,aHa bctpchh co cbohmh 5aHKHpaMH, a^BOKaTaMH, 5yxraaTcpaMH-3KCHcpTaMH, 5poKcpaMH, HHBcCTOpaMH, McHc^^cpaMH, pa5OTHHKaMH. HcHOBcK, KOTOpHH OCTaBHH

raKoay b 13 hct, TcHcpb yHpaBaaa, HHCTpyKTHpoBaa, HpHKa3HBaa, 3a^aBaa

BOHpOCH. Bcc 3TO HpO^caHBaaOCb C o5pa3OBaHHHMH ara,abMH. Ohh aBaaaHCb ho cro pacHopa^cHHra h BH3OBy h cbc^HBaaHCb ot CTpaxa, Kor,aa orcp MaHKa hc o^o5paa hx ^cHctbhs.

3tot hchobck hc HOcac^OBaa 3a mhchhcm tohhh. Oh c^opMHpo- Baa co5ctbchhoc MHraacHHc, OTBcprnyB caoBa: “Mh ^oh^hh c^caaTb



60 Po5epx T. KHOcaKH, 0apoH

ncHTcp

3TO TaK, HOTOMy HTO TaK ^eaarox Bce". Uh xaK^e HeHaBH^ea caoBO ”ne Mory”. EcHH 5h bh aaxOTeaH, hto5h oh hto-to c^eHaH, Ha^O 5hho 5h eMy cKaaaTb HpocTo: ne ^yMaro, hto bh Mo^eTe oto c^eHaTb”,

MaHK H a HayHHHHcb 5oHbraeMy, ch^h Ha ero BcTpeHax, HeM 3a Bce ro^H B raKoae h KOHHe^^e. U^ep MaHKa He HMea ray5oKHx raKoabHHx 3HaHHH, 3aTo OH 5hh ^HHaHcoBo o5pa3OBaHHHM H, KaK pe3yabTaT, yc- HeraHHM 5H3HecMeHOM. Uh Heo^HOKpaTHo TOBopHH HaM: “Ymhhh Heao- BeK HOHHMaeT ara,aeH, KOTopHe e^e 5oaee yMHH, HeM oh caM". Bot mh c MaHKOM H HcHOHb3OBaaH c BHTOflOH ce5a ^OHTHe HacH, cayraaa yMHHx ara,aeH h yHacb y hhx.

H3-3a 3TOTO MH c MaHKOM y^e He BHHcHBaaHcb b cTan^apTHHe ^OTMH, HpoHOBe^yeMHe naraHMH yHHTeaaMH. 3to h BH3HBaao Hpo5ae- MH. Ctohho HHrab yHHTeara cKa3aTb: “Echh bh He HoayHHTe xoporaHx 3HaHHH, BaM Hecaa^KO HpH^eTca b 5y,ay^eH ^h3hh”, naraH c MaHKOM 5poBH Hoa3HH BBepx. Kor,aa HaM roBopHHH, hto5h mh cae^OBaaH ycTa- HOBaeHHHM HpaBHaaM, ne yKaoHaaHcb ot hhx, mh MoraH Ha5ara,aaTb, KaK raKoabHHH Hpopecc oT^HBaeT TBopHecKoe MHraaeHHe. Mh HaHaaH HOHHMaTb, HOHeMy Hara 5oraTHH OTep roBopHa HaM, hto raKoaH 5hhh Hpe^Ha3HaHeHH BHHycKaTb xoporaHx pa5oTHHKOB, a He pa5oTo^aTeaeH.

H^pe^Ka MaHK h a cHparaHBaaH naraHx yHHTeaeH, KaK mo^ho 5hho HpHMeHHTb B ^H3HH BHyHeHHOe B raKOae, HHH cHparaHBaaH, HOHeMy MH

HHKor,aa He H3yHaaH ^enbTH h KaK ohh pa5oTarar. Ha Hocae^HHH BOHpoc HaM HacTO OTBeHaaH, hto ^enbTH ne TaK y^ Ba^HH, hto ecaH mh 5y,aeM yHHTbca OTHHHHO, ^eHbTH K HaM HpH^yT caMH.

HeM 5oabrae mh y^naBaaH o cHae ^eHer, TeM 5oabraeH cTanoBHaacb ^HcTaHpHa Me^^y h^mh h naraHMH yHHTeaaMH, ^a h o^HOKaaccHHKaMH. MoH BHcoKoo5pa3OBaHHHH oTep HHKor,aa He Tpe5oBaa ot Mena Heo5HKHOBeHHHx 3HaHHH. HacTo Mena pa35Hpaao hm^ohhtctbo - ho- HeMy? 3aTO, aHrab ToabKO ^axo^Ha pa3roBop c hhm o ^eHbrax, cpa3y HaHHHaaHcb cHopH. K 16 a 5hh ayHrae HO,aKOBan b hohhm^hhh ^ener, HeM MOH po^HTeaH. ^ yMea cHHTaTb, a cayraaa 5yxraaTepoB-3KcHepTOB, HOBepeHHHx, 5aHKHpOB, 5pOKepOB HO He^BH^HMOcTH, HHBecTOpOB H T.^. MoH OTep o5^aaca aHrab c yHHTeaaMH.

U^Ha^^H MOH oTep paccKa3HBaa MHe, HOHeMy nara ^om 5hh ca- MHM KpyHHHM Ha0HM BHO^eHHeM. ^ ^e HpeflOcTaBHH eMy He OHeHb HpHKTHHH apryMeHT B HOHb3y TOTO, HTO K He cHHTaa ^OM xOpOraHM BHO- ^eHHeM.

nocae^yra^aa ^HarpaMMa HaaracTpHpyeT pa3HHpy bochphkthh Me^^y MOHM 5oraTHM OTPOM H MOHM 5e^HHM OTPOM cBOHx ^OMOB. U^HH OTep cHHTaa cboH ^om aKTHBOM, a ^pyroH - HaccHBOM.