177
When Allaah Ta`ala had blessed you with children, you should
be grateful and thankful to Him for this bounty, and you should
pay due attention to the upbringing of your children.
Nurture
these innocent charges of your with dignity and honour.
Consider this scenario….Newton spent 15
years preparing a
treatise. One day when he left his desk for a short while, his
dog came by and knocked the candle, which resulted in it
falling and burning some of his work. When he returned and
saw that some of precious work was destroyed, he said,
“What
can I tell you?”
Saying this he proceeded to rectify and
complete what was lost
and in a short space of time,
he made
up what he had lost in the fire.
Keeping this anecdote in mind, you should also, treat children
with affection and not chastise and scold them for every little
thing. You must bear in mind that with children there will
always be all sorts of ‘problems’. You can expect them to break
something, make a noise,
spoil your sleep, etc., etc. All these
should be borne with patience and tolerated. Take it in your
stride and do not vent any anger on
children owing to trivial
and normal matters.
Remember also that constant bickering and arguing between
spouses impacts negatively on children. Such environments
wherein there is constant strife will eventually drive your
children away from you. It will
affect their educational
progress, their interrelationship with other children, etc.
You should make a concreted effort t controlling your anger
and not reprimand your children or wife on every little and
trivial matter.
Pay attention to the Deeni upbringing of your children
Dear Respected Groom! Nikah is one great bounty from Allaah
Ta`ala wherein lies mutual benefit for the spouses. As long as
the Laws of Allaah Ta`ala are not broken and pleasure and
comfort is attained through permissible means, the full benefit
178
if Nikah will be realised. Children, who are also bounties from
Allaah Ta`ala are to be properly cared for and taught proper
Islaamic character.
The standard of the children’s character, their manner of
speaking
and conversing, the proper Islaamic etiquettes of
eating and drinking, etc. have to be taught and inculcated in
them.
If the children are not cared for in their nurturing stages, the
mother does not breastfeed the child for the proper duration or
at all, then the footing of the child is wrong. If there is no peace
and solace in the home, the tension impacts on the children. In
some homes we see that the couple bring child after child
without any suitable period between them. This causes much
tiredness to the wife. In fact, in such situations, we see that the
wife will snap and shout the children incessantly. She is under
great stress in brining up so many children. Together with her
normal housework, and caring for the kids, she is bound to be
tensed up.
It must be borne in mind that the
objective is not merely to
have many children. More important than having many
children is imparting to them the proper upbringing and
character. Together with making your normal efforts during the
day, you should, nay must, take out some time during the day
to sit with your children and teach them proper Islaamic
character and morals. This will engender a blessed home.
Keeping this in mind, it is Mustahab to leave a suitable space
between having children. It is recorded in the Kitaabs of Fiqh:
It is stated in the Fataawa that because of the evil era, you fear
a bad and unsuitable upbringing for children, then azal (coitus
interuptus) should be practiced. At times the consent of the wife
in this regard is not even necessary
.
There may be some valid reasons for ‘birth-control’. Amongst
them is genuine weakness of the wife, where she is not able to
properly carry a baby in her womb, because you are on a long
177
When Allaah Ta`ala had blessed you with children, you should
be grateful and thankful to Him for this bounty, and you should
pay due attention to the upbringing of your children. Nurture
these innocent charges of your with dignity and honour.
Consider this scenario….Newton spent 15 years preparing a
treatise. One day when he left his desk for a short while, his
dog came by and knocked the candle, which resulted in it
falling and burning some of his work. When he returned and
saw that some of precious work was destroyed, he said,
“What
can I tell you?”
Saying this he proceeded to rectify and
complete what was lost and in a short space of time, he made
up what he had lost in the fire.
Keeping this anecdote in mind, you should also, treat children
with affection and not chastise and scold them for every little
thing. You must bear in mind that with children there will
always be all sorts of ‘problems’. You can expect them to break
something, make a noise, spoil your sleep, etc., etc. All these
should be borne with patience and tolerated. Take it in your
stride and do not vent any anger on children owing to trivial
and normal matters.
Remember also that constant bickering and arguing between
spouses impacts negatively on children. Such environments
wherein there is constant strife will eventually drive your
children away from you. It will affect their educational
progress, their interrelationship with other children, etc.
You should make a concreted effort t controlling your anger
and not reprimand your children or wife on every little and
trivial matter.
Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: 
