Recognise your status and do not become your wife’s
mureed
In the previous pages we had explained and stressed upon you
to treat your wife with softness and kindness, not to rebuke and
censure her, to patiently bear her tantrums, etc., etc.
However, you must not misconstrue the issue and make your
wife your ruler and yourself her subject. Do not let it be that
she scolds and rebukes you and you remain silent. You should
become her slave. You must not become the
mureed
of your
wife. You must know your rightful status and her limits. Treat
her kindly, and concede to her permissible requests.
There is no need to be stern and authoritative, and strike fear in
your wife and children. You do not have to assert your
authority by constantly shouting and rebuking. There is a
Hadith which states that there is a special door in Jannat, called
Baabul Farh
exclusively kept for that man who, within the
bounds of the Shariah, keeps his children happy and the
children’s mother, his wife, who is subservient to him, also
happy and content.
Glad tidings for the Muslim couple, that when the husband
looks at the wife with affection and the wife looks at her
husband with affection, then Allaah Ta`ala looks at both of
them with His Special Mercy. Women are subservient to their
husbands. In fact, they are similar to being prisoners, where
they do not emerge from the home without the husband’s
176
consent, and they do not allow into his house anyone with
whom he is displeased.
However, the situation should not turn out to be that the ruler
becomes the subject. The import of a Hadith is that it is not
permissible to belittle and disgrace oneself. Therefore the
husband should not lower his status in his home and allow
himself to be ruled by his wife. It should not be that the
children see their father as a meek weakling bowing to his
wife’s every whim and fancy and saying
Jee, Jee
to everything
she orders.
Another important factor to note is that women are
Naaqisaatul
Aql
(deficient in intelligence), hence they are suited for
leadership posts. Imaamat and Athaan are not valid if
performed by a woman. She is not allowed to travel without the
companionship of a
mahram
male. There is a time in every
month when she does not perform Salaat (during her
haidh)
.
She receives ½ the share of men in inheritance. They have not
been made responsible for maintenance in the home. Her
support and maintenance is the responsibility of her father,
husband, brother, son, etc. depending on the situation. The
testimony of two women is equal to that of one man. Normally
she is not allowed to terminate a Nikah. When she performs
Hajj then she is not allowed to recite
Labbaik
loudly. However
remember that in all these Shar`i laws, lie the honour of
women.
In short, you must live in the home, where everyone knows
their status and observes the due respects to each other. You
should not live in such a way where you exercise fear on your
family. Keep them happy within the bounds of the Shariah and,
in short, do not let your wife ‘wear the trousers’.
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