R is for REINFORCE Reinforce the value of the proposed action and how this will
benefit both of you.
“I think this will really help our working relationship as I will be less
stressed, and more understanding of your current workload. I’ll
also be more likely to help you out if I know what’s going on.”
People may resist your suggestions, and become defensive or uncooperative, even if you have expressed yourself well. The M-A-N part of DEARMAN is to help you deal with defensive
or uncooperative behaviour.
•
M is for MINDFUL Be mindful of the task at hand and of the other person’s feelings.
Do not move on this issue until the issue is resolved, but ensure
you schedule time in at a later date to listen to their issues.
“I want you to CC me in all your emails from now on”
“You CC me in too many emails! I get so many emails from you I can’t
handle it!”
“Ok, I wasn’t aware of this. It must be frustrating but we can discuss it
after we’ve sorted this out. Right now we’re talking about how I’d like
you to CC me in all your emails.”