Scatter Brained

C H A P T E R   6

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S C A T T E R B R A I N E D
WILBUR VERSUS NAPOLEON
Blue Corner:
 Wilbur, lovable hero of E. B. White’s classic 
Charlotte’s Web
Red Corner:
 Napoleon, despicable despot of George Orwell’s 
classic 
Animal Farm,
 who rules with paranoia and unchal-
lenged authority over a farm bearing a suspicious resem-
blance to postrevolutionary Russia
The Feud:
 What should pigs wear—clothes or mud? Which is 
stronger—innocence or cynicism? Whose prose style is 
crisper—Orwell’s or White’s?
The Breakdown:
 Like most dictators and bullies, Napoleon 
isn’t at his best one on one. Also, his newly developed smok-
ing habit will likely have an adverse eff ect on late-round per-
formance. Wilbur, though, is gentle, trusting, and not that 
bright. Expect Napoleon to attempt to con him into conced-
ing with his seductive socialistic Seven Commandments of 
Animalism, particularly the one about animals not killing 
each other.
The Victor:
 Napoleon. Alas, to quote the last commandment 
after revision by the pigs: “All animals are equal, but some 
are more equal than others.”