Scatter Brained

C H A P T E R   3

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S C A T T E R B R A I N E D
so impressed with its design, 
he wanted to make sure they 
never again built anything as 
beautiful.
VLAD THE IMPALER 
(1431–1476)
Also known as Dracula and 
widely known as the histori-
cal inspiration for Bram Stok-
er’s novel 
Dracula,
 Vlad III of 
Walachia didn’t do much ac-
tual blood drinking. Rather, 
the Romanian prince’s nick-
name was inspired by his fa-
vorite  method  of  execution: 
impaling  people  on  pikes, 
sticks, and other sharp things. 
While his nasty rep was exag-
gerated somewhat by German 
pamphleteers bent on his def-
amation (for which their new-
fangled printing press came in 
handy), there is certainly some 
truth to the legends. On one 
occasion,  Vlad  is  said  to  have 
invited beggars to a feast at 
his castle and then burned it 
to the ground, thus eliminat-
ing poverty in his kingdom.
It’s a Mad, 
Mad, Mad, 
Mad George
Few royals have ever had a 
more appropriate nickname 
than England’s George III 
(1738–1820), a.k.a. George 
the Mad. For much of his lat-
er life, the monarch American 
colonists loved to hate bat-
tled insanity brought on by 
a rare blood disease called 
porphyria. Of course, scien-
tists now suspect that the 
medication George was giv-
en to “control” his madness 
probably didn’t help, particu-
larly because it contained ar-
senic. And however patriotic 
you may be, it’s hard to hate 
a guy who was so many cards 
shy of a full deck. In fact, in 
his fi nal years, George was 
walking around insisting that 
he could communicate with 
angels and trees (none of 
which were advising him to 
pull out of America, appar-
ently).

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