Scatter Brained

02
Great Hats 
(or the Heads of Heads of State)
THE NAPOLÉON
Popularized By:
 Napoléon, naturally
Hat Story:
 Napoléon was known for his tall, folded-brim felt 
hats. Some hypothesize, in fact, that Napoléon is remembered 
as short because his gigantic hats dwarfed the rest of him.
Pluses:
 Th
  e last guy who wore it conquered most of Europe.
Minuses:
 From a distance, it looks like a giant possum is asleep 
atop your head.
THE BERET
Popularized By:
 Saddam Hussein (president, Iraq) and Max 
Fischer (president, Rushmore Beekeepers Club)
C H A P T E R   2

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32
S C A T T E R B R A I N E D
Hat Story:
 Originally worn in ancient Greece and Rome, the 
beret reached the Basque country by way of traders. Th
 e Ro-
mans color-coded their berets (white, for instance, could only 
be worn by aristocrats).
Pluses:
 Looks simultaneously authoritative and artsy
Minuses:
 Also looks French
THE FEZ
Popularized By:
  King  Hassan  II  (King  of  Morocco  in  the 
1960s) and Shriners
Hat Story:
  Th
  is visorless, fl at-topped, betasseled felt cap be-
came  part  of  the  offi
  cial Turkish dress code under Sultan 
Mahmud II in the 1800s and remained so until being outlawed 
in 1925, two years after Turkey became a secular  republic.
Pluses:
 Friends and family will be able to spot you in a crowd: 
“Just look for the tassel!”
Minuses:
 Won’t keep the sun out of your eyes; people will 
start calling you Fezzy McTasselman.