Pilot S00E01 Good News, Bad News

67. S05E03 - The Glasses

Guest Stars: Timothy Stack (Dwayne) Anna Gunn (Amy) Tom Towles (Tough Guy) Rance Howard (Blind Man) Michael Saad (Doctor) Len Lesser (Uncle Leo)

George's glasses are stolen and he needs a new pair, so he goes to see Kramer's friend to get a thirty percent discount; all Elaine gets is bitten by a dog and then she becomes afraid of them. While not wearing his glasses, George thinks he sees Jerry's girlfriend kissing Jerry's cousin and Jerry tries to figure out if it's true.

b: 30-Sep-93 pc: 502 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Tom Cherones

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68. S05E04 - The Sniffing Accountant

Guest Stars: John Kapelos (Barry) Christa Miller (Ellen) Wayne Knight (Newman) Patrick Cronin (Farkus) Ralph Harris Jr. (Ralph) Maria Stanton (Woman in Diner) Marty Rackham (Jake) Deck McKenzie (Mitch) Estelle Harris (Estelle) Jerry Stiller (Frank) Richard Fancy (Lippman)

George's father gets him an interview as a bra salesman. Evidence points to Jerry's accountant being a drug user. So Jerry, Kramer and Newman set out to find out the truth. Elaine's new boyfriend is perfect except for his use of an exclamation point.

b: 07-Oct-93 pc: 504 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones

NOTE: This episode was recorded on 14 Sep 93 and was attended by 18 members of the Vandelay Industries Mailing List. Christa Miller will reappear as another character in "The Doodle".
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69. S05E05 - The Bris

Guest Stars: Charles Levin (Mohel) Debra Mooney (Mrs. Sweedler) Tom Alan Robbins (Stan) Jeannie Elias (Myra) John Gegenhuber (Resident) Tia Riebling (Woman) Frank Noon (Patient)

George gets a great parking spot that becomes a target. Kramer thinks that he has stumbled on the product of a genetic engineering experiment, a "pig man". Elaine and Jerry are nervous about the religious duties they must do when they agree to become godparents to a couple's newborn, including getting the Mohel and holding the baby for the circumcision.

b: 14-Oct-93 pc: 505 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones

NOTE: I've removed the note about The Godfather reference. There are numerous obscure references such as this buried within the series, identifying and noting them all would be unwieldy, so let's not start.
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70. S05E06 - The Lip Reader

Guest Stars: Wayne Knight (Newman) Linda Cash (Gwen) Linda Kash (Gwen) Christopher Darga (Driver) Jerry Sroka (Todd) Marlee Matlin (Laura) Veralyn Jones (Renee) Dylan Haggerty (Young Man) Bret Anthony (Teen)

Jerry is smitten with a line judge at the US Open, but after he gets her attention, he finds out she is deaf. Elaine has a problem not communicating with a limo driver. George wants to use Jerry's girlfriend to read the lips of his ex-girlfriend to find out what she is saying about him. While she is reading the lips, Kramer does the translation, that gets George in more trouble. Kramer becomes a ball man at the Open, when Monica Seles returns to tennis.

b: 28-Oct-93 pc: 506 w: Carol Leifer d: Tom Cherones

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71. S05E07 - The Non-Fat Yogurt

Guest Stars: Maryedith Burrell (Maryedith) Peter Keleghan (Lloyd) John Christian Graas (Matthew) Hugh A. Rose (Doctor) Lisa Houle (Cheryl) Jed Mills (Joel) John Gabriel (Newscaster) Darrell Kunitomi (Lab Technician) Wayne Knight (Newman) Estelle Harris (Estelle) Jerry Stiller (Frank)

When they begin to gain weight, Jerry and Elaine suspect that Kramer has made a bad investment in a non-fat yogurt shop. Jerry inadvertently uses the "F" word, as a result so does Maryedith's son Matthew, a lot. George meets an old childhood friend whom he is convinced is trying to humiliate him. Elaine begins dating this friend and gives him an idea for his mayoral candidate's campaign. Kramer's date with a lab technician results in strange test results for the future mayor of New York City.

b: 04-Nov-93 pc: 508 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones

NOTE: Around this time it was reported that four versions of the ending of this episode were shot. The correct one being used based on results of the mayoral election being held at that time. The syndicated rerun of this episode shows more footage of the mayoral campaign, featuring Rudy Giuliani, who was not credited for his appearance (unless you count the caption during his press conference).
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72. S05E08 - The Barber

Guest Stars: Anthony Ponzini (Enzo) David Ciminello (Gino) Michael Fairman (Mr. Pensky) Jack Shearer (Mr. Tuttle) Kenny Myles (Mike) Peggy Maltby (Clarisse) David Richardson (Customer) Wayne Knight (Newman)

George is uncertain about whether his job interview was successful or not, so he decides to go into the office and act like an employee while the boss is on vacation. Jerry is reluctant to dump his old barber even when he is given a real bad haircut. Kramer arranges to get him a clandestine haircut at the apartment of his barber. Newman is charged by Jerry's barber to get a sample of Jerry's hair when he suspects foul play.

b: 11-Nov-93 pc: 507 w: Andy Robin d: Tom Cherones

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73. S05E09 - The Masseuse

Guest Stars: Lisa Edelstein (Karen) Jennifer Coolidge (Jody) Anthony Cistaro (Joel Rifkin) John Glen Bishop (Ticket Man) Hiram Kasten (Michael) Lisa Pescia (Lisa)

Elaine meets a man who's perfect except his name is the same as a notorious serial killer. Jerry is frustrated when he can't get his girlfriend, who's a masseuse, to give him a massage, even Kramer is a customer. George is obsessed when Jerry's girlfriend doesn't like him, so he tries extra hard to get her to like him, much to his own girlfriend's dismay.

b: 18-Nov-93 pc: 509 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones

NOTE: On an episode of Love and War that was broadcast on 6 Dec 93, Jerry and Larry David appear in a cameo as themselves.

Viewer Jeff Holland notes that one of the names that Elaine suggests her boyfriend change his name to was O.J.. Several months later of course we all know what happened to that name.

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74. S05E10 - The Cigar Store Indian

Guest Stars: Kimberly Norris (Winona) Sam Lloyd (Ricky) Carissa Channing (Sylvia) Ralph Manza (Gepetto) Al Roker (Himself) Veralyn Jones (Renee) Lisa Pescia (Joanne) Benjamin Lum (Mailman) Irvin Mosley Jr. (Spike) Estelle Harris (Estelle) Jerry Stiller (Frank) Richard Fancy (Lippman)

Jerry helps George out with a coffee stable stain and makes Elaine take the subway home and gives her Mr. Costanza's TV Guide to read. While on the train Elaine meets a strange man obsessed with television. George meets a woman at a refinishing store who he brings back to his parent's home and passes it off as his. A female Native American that he is interested in, thinks Jerry is racially insensitive when he presents Elaine with a cigar-store Indian as a peace offering. George gets grounded when his parents return from vacation and find an unused prophylactic in their bed and a missing TV Guide. Kramer has an idea for a coffee table book on coffee tables that Elaine doesn't like but Mr. Lippman does.

b: 09-Dec-93 pc: 510 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Tom Cherones

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75. S05E11 - The Conversion

Guest Stars: Kay E. Kuter (Older Priest) Molly Hagan (Sister Roberta) Tom Verica (Doctor) Kimberley Campbell (Tawni) Jana Marie Hupp (Sasha) Bill Rose (Younger Priest) Randy Brenner (Waiter) Darlene Kardon (Mrs. Lupchek) Karen Rizzo (Woman Hailing Cab) Jerry Stiller (Frank) Estelle Harris (Estelle)

George changes his religion to Latvian Orthodox to keep his girlfriend who must break up with him for religious reasons. Jerry finds a tube of fungus cream in his girlfriend's medicine cabinet and fakes an illness until he can figure out what the cream is used for. He asks Elaine to ask her current boyfriend who's a podiatrist. Kramer meets a sister at George's new church who becomes infatuated with him.

b: 16-Dec-93 pc: 511 w: Bruce Kirschbaum d: Tom Cherones

NOTE: Viewer Paul Redkoles notes that Jerry's girlfriend is sub-letting apartment 5E, which we all know to be Newman's apartment.
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76. S05E12 - The Stall

Guest Stars: Jami Gertz (Jane) Dan Cortese (Tony)

While in a bathroom stall, Elaine needs some toilet paper, but the woman in the next stall refuses to give her a piece. The woman is Jerry's girlfriend whose voice Kramer recognizes from a telephone sex line. Elaine's boyfriend, whose face she just loves, takes George & Kramer rock climbing. After his accident, Elaine isn't sure his face will be the same.

b: 06-Jan-94 pc: 512 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones

NOTE: Viewer Jeff Holland that this is the first episode where Jerry actually uses his computer. He uses it at least once more, during the last season. And on a related note, while the computer in the background has been an Apple Macintosh, some viewers have said that they spotted a copy of Windows 95 lurking in the background in future episodes.
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77. S05E13 - The Dinner Party

Guest Stars: Fred Pinkard (Newsstand Guy) Frank Novak (Clerk) Mark Holton (David) Suzy Soro (Barbara) Kathryn Kates (Counterwoman) S. Marc Jordan (Man in Bakery) Langdon Bensing (Man on Street) Sayed Badreya (Foreign Man) Amjad J. Oaisen (Hussein) Roger Eschbacher (Man with Cane)

The gang struggles to find gifts for a dinner party. Jerry and Elaine stop at a bakery to get a cake, but they forget to take a number and lose the chocolate pastry and the one they get has a hair on it. Kramer and George try to get the wine but must get change for a $100 dollar bill and wait for a double-parker to return to his car.

b: 03-Feb-94 pc: 514 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones

NOTE: Viewer Kyle Matschke noticed a blooper in this episode. When Jerry is holding the black and white cookie, the colors keep changing sides every time the shot cuts back to Jerry.

Viewer Jay Pollack rechecks George's math.

"George and Kramer go to buy the wine, the guy says it costs $13.05. Then they go to the newsstand to get change and end up spending $6.75. George says, "Great, now with the wine, I am in over $20!" Add the totals: $19.80, so he is not in over $20!! Oopps!"

Another viewer, Dave Antonoff says, "What about the tax Jay?" I should have caught that.

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78. S05E14 - The Marine Biologist

Guest Stars: Carol Kane (Corinne) George Murdock (Testikov) Rosalind Allen (Diane) David Blackwood (Hotel Clerk) Heather Morgan (Woman on Beach) Wayne Knight (Newman) Richard Fancy (Lippman)

Jerry meets an old college classmate who asked about George, whom Jerry says is now a "marine biologist." An infuriated Russian writer tosses an electronic organizer belonging to Elaine out of a limousine that hits a passerby on the head. Kramer struggles with his golf swing and sand. While walking along the beach, George is called on to use his marine biology skills to save a whale.

b: 10-Feb-94 pc: 513 w: Ron Hague & Charlie Rubin d: Tom Cherones

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79. S05E15 - The Pie

Guest Stars: Suzanne Snyder (Audrey) Christine Dunford (Saleswoman) Reni Santoni (Poppie) Lane Davies (MacKenzie) Mark Beltzman (Bob) Sunday Theodore (Olive) Sam Lloyd (Ricky) Paul Mantee (Health Inspector) Patricia Belcher (Woman #1) Pamela Mant (Woman #2) Bernard Hocke (Guy in Diner) Eamonn Roche (Waiter) Robert Kino (Ricky's Boss) Tony Edwards (Businessman)

Jerry can't believe that his girlfriend won't share a piece of pie with him. There is a mannequin at a store that looks like Elaine and she wants to know where it came from. George is interested in a suit that he makes an enemy over. Kramer has an itch. George's new suit makes a noise.

b: 17-Feb-94 pc: 515 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Tom Cherones

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80. S05E16 - The Stand-In

Guest Stars: Mark Tymchyshyn (Phil) Karla Tamburrelli (Daphne) Debbie Lee Carrington (Tammy) W. Earl Brown (Al) Michael Rivkin (Fulton) Joe Gieb (Johnny) Layne Beamer (Father) Thomas Dekker (Son) Jerome Betler (Director) Danny Woodburn (Mickey)

Kramer talks his stand-in friend, a "little person" into getting lifts, to keep his job. Jerry visits a sick friend, who's in need of a good laugh, at the hospital. George and his latest girlfriend have nothing to say to each other, he wants to break up, but won't when he finds out she is being urged to break it off. One of Jerry's friends "takes it out" while on his first date with Elaine. Jerry's friend takes a turn for the worse after his first visit, so he tries again.

b: 24-Feb-94 pc: 516 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones

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81. S05E17 - The Wife

Guest Stars: Courteney Cox (Meryl) Scott LaRose (Greg) Joseph Ragno (Marty) Rebecca Glenn (Paula) Nick LaTour (Grandpa) Susan Segal (Waitress) Lili Bernard (Anna) Lawrence A. Mandley (Owner) Barney Martin (Morty) Liz Sheridan (Helen) Len Lesser (Uncle Leo)

A girlfriend poses as Jerry's wife so she can get a dry cleaning discount. George uses the shower at the health club as a bathroom and is afraid of being turned in after being seen. Elaine is getting mixed signals from a male friend who may be interested. Kramer's getting ready to impress his girlfriend's parents.

b: 17-Mar-94 pc: 517 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones

NOTE: Viewer Liz Pollack notes that when Jerry is bickering with Meryl about the can opener every time they switch the shot the bottle that is on the counter switches sides of the six pack case.
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82. S05E18 - The Raincoats (1)

Guest Stars: Michael G. Hagerty (Rudy) Dorien Wilson (Alec) Annie Korzen (Doris Klompus) Judge Reinhold (Aaron) Lisa Pescia (Joanne) Melanie Smith (Rachel) Jerry Stiller (Frank) Estelle Harris (Estelle) Barney Martin (Morty) Liz Sheridan (Helen) Sandy Baron (Klompus)

Jerry's parents are staying with him while they wait to take their trip to Paris and he's just returned from three weeks on the road can't get anytime alone with his girlfriend. George tries to get out of the big brother program, just after he gets talked into it. The Seinfelds avoid the Costanza's dinner invitation. Elaine's latest boyfriend, who's a "close talker," becomes unusually fixated on Jerry's parents and shows them New York City. Kramer makes a deal with Jerry's father to sell belt-less raincoats to a secondhand shop and George sells his father's moth-ridden cabana style clothing, right before they plan a cruise.

b: 28-Apr-94 pc: 519 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross and Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones

NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
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83. S05E19 - The Raincoats (2)

Guest Stars: Michael G. Hagerty (Rudy) Dorien Wilson (Alec) Stephen Pearlman (Mr. Goldstein) Annie Korzen (Doris Klompus) Judge Reinhold (Aaron) Melanie Smith (Rachel) LaRita Shelby (Tour Leader) Jason Manary (Joey) Wayne Knight (Newman) Jerry Stiller (Frank) Estelle Harris (Estelle) Barney Martin (Morty) Liz Sheridan (Helen) Sandy Baron (Klompus)

Jerry and his girlfriend get some time alone with each other at a movie, Schindler's List, they don't see it; however, Newman sees it and them. A delay in the shipment of the raincoats will make the Seinfelds miss their flight to France, George uses this as an opportunity to get his "little" brother back to his father. The Seinfelds manage to avoid meeting the Costanzas in New York City.

b: 28-Apr-94 pc: 520 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross and Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones

NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode.
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84. S05E20 - The Fire

Guest Stars: Melanie Chartoff (Robin) Veanne Cox (Toby) Dom Irrera (Ronnie) Jon Favreau (Clown) Lisa Pescia (Joanne) Hiram Kasten (Michael) Patience Cleveland (Old Lady) Lawrence LeJohn (Fireman) Jerry Stiller (Frank) Estelle Harris (Estelle)

Kramer is dating one of Elaine's co-workers, a woman who drives her crazy. Kramer brings her to one of Jerry's shows, where she heckles him relentlessly; unfortunately there is a national magazine critic in the audience. George panics when there is a fire at his girlfriend's apartment, during her son's birthday party. Jerry decides to get revenge by heckling the woman where she works. She runs out of the office onto the street and loses her pinkie toe. Kramer finds the toe, takes a bus to the hospital and saves the passengers from a gunman. Inspired by Kramer's tale, George tries to confront his feelings of cowardice.

b: 05-May-94 pc: 518 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones

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85. S05E21 - The Hamptons

Guest Stars: Melanie Smith (Rachel) Lisa Mende (Carol) Melora Walters (Jane) Richard Burgi (Ben) Mark L. Taylor (Michael) Jesse D. Goins (Cop)

Everyone makes a trip to the Hamptons to "see the baby" and enjoy the weekend. George's girlfriend goes topless and everyone sees her chest before he does. "The baby" is the most hideous thing they've ever seen. Elaine is confused when a handsome doctor refers to her as "breathtaking" - the same term he later uses to describe the baby. Kramer finds a filled lobster trap. Jerry's girlfriend sees George naked, after he's just gotten out of the pool, so something isn't as it should be.

b: 12-May-94 pc: 522 w: Peter Mehlman & Carol Leifer d: Tom Cherones

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86. S05E22 - The Opposite

Guest Stars: French Stewart (Manager) Marty Rackham (Jake Jarmel) Siobhan Fallon (Tina) Paul Gleason (Cushman) Dedee Pfeiffer (Victoria) Kathie Lee Gifford (Herself) Melanie Smith (Rachel) Regis Philbin (Himself) Hiram Kasten (Michael) Ken Takemoto (Chairman) Fritz Mashimo (Interpreter) Susan Segal (Waitress) Oscar Jordan (Counterperson) Rolando Molina (Punk #1) Michael Friedman (Punk #2) Marvin Braverman (Poker Player #1) Wesley Thompson (Poker Player #2) Jeff Barton (Poker Player #3) Jeffrey von Meyer (Poker Player #4) Larry David (Voice of George Steinbrenner (uncredited)) Estelle Harris (Estelle) Jerry Stiller (Frank) Richard Fancy (Lippman)

George comes to the realization that he should try to do the opposite of everything, so he does, his luck changes and everything begins to go his way including getting a girlfriend, a job with the Yankees and moving out of his parents house. Things begin to be unlucky for Elaine after she buys a box of "Jujyfruits." Kramer appears on Regis & Kathie Lee to promote his coffee table book. Rachel wants to break up with Jerry and he readily agrees, because his luck has been "even Steven." Elaine's eating of "Jujyfruits" causes Pendant Publishing to go under, and later she realizes that she and George have traded places.

b: 19-May-94 pc: 521 w: Andy Cowan and Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones

NOTE: Starting with this episode, Larry David supplies the voice of George Steinbrenner. Steinbrenner is only seen from the back. Steinbrenner's back is occasionally played by Larry David or actor Lee Bear. Kenny "real" Kramer does a great impression of Larry David and by default does a great impression of Steinbrenner.

Viewer Paul Redkoles notes that in this episode Kramer mentions he thought of the idea for the book while skiing; however, it is in "The Cigar Store Indian", that Kramer first thinks of and mentions the book.

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Season 6

87. S06E01 - The Chaperone

Guest Stars: Gail Strickland (Landis) Marguerite MacIntyre (Karen) Danny Tartabull (Himself) Buck Showalter (Himself) Ian Abercrombie (Mr. Pitt)

Jerry gets a date with Miss Rhode Island, a Miss America contestant; when they need a chaperone Kramer is available. On the date, Kramer gives her advice and becomes her personal coach. Elaine tries to get a job at Doubleday, filling in the shoes once filled by Jackie Onassis; instead she gets a job being the personal assistant of a top executive who likes white socks. Meanwhile, George decides that the Yankees need to change their uniforms from polyester to cotton.

b: 22-Sep-94 pc: 601 w: Larry David , Bill Masters & Bob Shaw d: Andy Ackerman

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88. S06E02 - The Big Salad

Guest Stars: Michelle Forbes (Julie) Jerry Levine (Stationer) Marita Geraghty (Margaret) Barry Nolan (Reporter) Dean Hallo (Gendason) Lauren Bowles (Waitress) Wayne Knight (Newman)

Elaine's boss wants a special mechanical pencil, so Elaine tries to get one from a stationary store where the clerk has a thing for her. George and his girlfriend pick up a "big salad" for Elaine, that his girlfriend gives to Elaine and she thanks her. Later, George points out that he bought the "big salad." Jerry discovers that his current girlfriend once dated Newman, who broke off his relationship with her. Kramer plays golf with an ex-ball player who breaks a rule of golf, they have a fight, and later the ball player is wanted for questioning in the murder of a dry cleaner, where a golf tee was involved. Kramer later helps him evade the police in a white Ford Bronco.

b: 29-Sep-94 pc: 602 w: Larry David d: Andy Ackerman

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89. S06E03 - The Pledge Drive

Guest Stars: Kelly Coffield (Noreen) Billye Ree Wallace (Nana) Brian Reddy (Dan) Rebecca Staab (Kristin) Danny Tartabull (Himself) Tom Wright (Executive (Morgan)) James Reynolds (Banker) Lauren Bowles (Waitress) F.J. Rio (Street Tough) Thom Vernon (Driver) Len Lesser (Uncle Leo) Ian Abercrombie (Mr. Pitt)

Jerry comments that a friend was hitting on him and Elaine tries to find out if what was true, but gets the voice of the woman and her current boyfriend confused. Elaine's boss eats his Snickers bar with a knife and fork and idea that soon catches on. George thinks a waitress gave him the finger. Jerry gets caught throwing away a thank you card. Jerry cashes some old birthday checks from his grandmother. Jerry's working a PBS pledge drive and gets George to bring a Yankee to appear with him, while en-route to the studio, someone gives George the finger.

b: 06-Oct-94 pc: 603 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Andy Ackerman

NOTE: Viewer Rick Streeter notes that in "The Statue" George says that his parents had this exact statue on the mantle of their apartment, but in this episode he says that if his parents had a mantle when he was growing up he might be a completely different person.
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