Pilot S00E01 Good News, Bad News



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Pilot
1. S00E01 - Good News, Bad News
Guest Stars: Lee Garlington (Claire) Pamela Brull (Laura)
A girl Jerry met on the road wants to stay with him when she comes to New York. George thinks that she is just using Jerry as contingency plan. Hoffman (Kramer) comes by to borrow a couple of pieces of meat. The girl calls and asks Jerry if she can stay at his apartment for the night, when she arrives she asks to stay for another night. Jerry is disappointed when everything is going his way until he finds out she is engaged.

b: 05-Jul-89 pc: 101 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Art Wolff


NOTE: In this episode, Jerry refers to Kramer as Kessler, because we later learn in "The Betrayal" this was the name on the buzzer for Kramer's apartment. This also discounts the fact that Kramer has sublet the apartment from Paul Buchman from Mad About You in an episode of that series that aired after "The Virgin." I suppose that Buchman could have sublet the apartment to someone named Kessler before Kramer had moved in. As strange as Kramer can be, perhaps he thought it best to not let anyone know he lived there and never changed the name.

In the TV Guide entry for this episode, his character is credited as Hoffman. I assume that this is the way it appeared in the script somewhere along the way. There were probably a number of name changes for this character, while Kenny Kramer was deciding whether or not his name could be used.



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Season 1

2. S01E01 - The Stakeout
Guest Stars: Lynn Clark (Vanessa) Liz Sheridan (Helen Seinfeld) Phil Bruns (Morty Seinfeld) Phil Burns (Morty Seinfeld) Maud Winchester (Pamela) William Fair (Roger) Ron Steelman (Artie Levine) Joe George (Uncle Mac) Ellen Gerstein (Carol) Janet Rotblatt (Woman)
Elaine brings Jerry to a birthday party where he meets a woman who fascinates him. Jerry doesn't know her name and wants to meet her again, so on some advice from his father, he and George stakeout the lobby of the building she works in.

b: 31-May-90 pc: 103 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones


NOTE: When this episode is shown in syndication, Phil Bruns still plays Jerry's dad (a role later assumed by Barney Martin). This is unlike George's dad, who was played by one actor, replaced by Jerry Stiller, and footage was re-shot with Jerry taking over the original dad's part in "The Handicap Spot".

Viewer Mike Greenhaus reminds me that this is the first episode that George uses the name Art Vandelay. The name of Vandelay would be used again in "The Boyfriend" and many other episodes. Another viewer, Jeremy DeMai, also notes that George first mentions his fetish for wanting to be an architect.

Viewer Ross Raniere remembers that when this episode was rerun on NBC, Jerry and Julia come on in a bumper before the show started. Jerry mentions how many episodes they've done so far, with Julia sitting next to him on the set's couch. He then said, "And this is the very first one we did." Jerry then says something about "the chemistry" and just as the bumper was about to fade, he and Julia embraced each other as if they were going to kiss. This of course was the first episode that Jerry and Julia had done together. Jerry discounted the Seinfeld Chronicles episode.

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3. S01E02 - The Robbery
Guest Stars: Anita Wise (Waitress) James F. Dean (Larry) Kimberly Kates (Diane) Bradford English (Cop) Kimberley Kates (Diane) David Blackwood (Man #1) George Simms (Man #2)
While out of town Jerry's apartment gets robbed (Kramer left the door open); so he considers moving. However, the apartment that George shows him is also an apartment that he wants, so they try to decide who will get it. Whoever wins, Elaine wants their apartment. Meanwhile, Kramer searches for the stolen property.

b: 07-Jun-90 pc: 104 w: Matt Goldman d: Tom Cherones


NOTE: Kyle Westphal notes that Jerry tells Elaine that is she needs to have sex while watching his apartment, do it in the tub. Later in "The English Patient", Elaine says, "Sex in a tub, that doesn't work.
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4. S01E03 - Male Unbonding
Guest Stars: Kevin Dunn (Joel) Anita Wise (Waitress) Frank Piazza (Customer) Kimberly LaMarque (Teller) Kimberley LaMarque (Teller)
Jerry ponders a few courses of action when he sees that he no longer has anything in common with a clingy and obnoxious childhood friend. George has trouble with his latest relationship. Kramer has the idea to open a chain of make-your-own-pizza parlors and is looking for investors.

b: 14-Jun-90 pc: 102 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones



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5. S01E04 - The Stock Tip

Guest Stars: Lynn Clark (Vanessa) Ted Davis (Dry Cleaner) Jill C. Klein (Waitress) Benjamin Lum (Stock Boy)


Jerry and George get some inside information that gives them hope for a new stock. Elaine has trouble with her boyfriend's cats. She's allergic to them. Jerry plans his first weekend trip with Vanessa. George says they are "relationship killers." Kramer has an idea for a rollout tie dispenser and warns Jerry about the market. Jerry becomes worried when the stock drops and they have trouble locating the broker who has information on when to sell their stock. They find out he's in the hospital. Jerry confronts his dry cleaner about his shirt. Elaine considers the cat problem. Anxious Jerry sells; George plans to go down with the ship. Jerry's trip is a disaster, but the stock turns okay for George.

b: 21-May-90 pc: 105 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones



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Season 2
6. S02E01 - The Ex-Girlfriend
Guest Stars: Tracy Kolis (Marlene) Karen Barcus (Recepcionist)
George has doubts about his current relationship that he broke off. Elaine is curious about a relationship that she has with a guy in her building that has degenerated over the past two years. Jerry is reluctantly drawn into George's ex-relationship when he picks up some books left at her apartment. Although he wants to break it off with her, she has this "psycho-sexual" hold over him and he becomes worried about what George might think if he lets this relationship develop. Elaine confronts the guy in her building and Jerry's relationship maybe in jeopardy when his girlfriend sees his act.

b: 23-Jan-91 pc: 201 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones


NOTE: A glitch was just recently pointed out to me by Eric Wilks. I had listed the original air date for this episode as 16 Jan. Well, every network's programming that evening was preempted for the start of something called "The Gulf War." Gee was it that long ago? Anyhow, the first episode of the season was delayed and shown a week later.

Kyle Westphal notes that George wants his books back, only later we now that George will do anything not to read. Such as in "The Couch". He mentions that Books on Tape have spoiled him "The Fatigues". Perhaps he will changes his ways when he says he'll read a book cover to cover in "The Summer of George". I doubt it.



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7. S02E02 - The Pony Remark
Guest Stars: Rozsika Halmos (Manya) Liz Sheridan (Helen) Barney Martin (Morty) Len Lesser (Uncle Leo) David Fresco (Isaac) Scott N. Stevens (Intern) Earl Boen (Eulogist)
Jerry's parents come to town for a 50th anniversary party. Jerry bets Kramer that he won't complete his plans to renovate his apartment with levels in a month. Jerry takes Elaine to the dinner and he makes an observation about children who have ponies, this remark offends the guest of honor. When she dies soon afterwards, Jerry wonders if he should go to the funeral or go to his championship softball game. Elaine wonders about the fate of the apartment, when she hears the widower is moving to Arizona. George wonders if it will ever be possible for him to have sex again.

b: 30-Jan-91 pc: 202 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones



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8. S02E03 - The Jacket

Guest Stars: Lawrence Tierney (Alton Benes) Frantz Turner (Salesman) Susanne Spoke (Customer) Harry Hart-Browne (Manager)


Jerry buys a real expensive new suede jacket with a colorful inner lining. George has a song from Les Miserables that he just can't get out of his mind. Kramer is supposed pickup a magician friend's doves, and needs someone to help him for two minutes; Elaine takes on the job. Kramer promises she'll get "a lift" to the hotel where Jerry and George are meeting her and her father, Alton Benes, an author cut from Hemingway cloth. Jerry and George suffer while waiting with Elaine's father. When it begins to snow, Jerry turns his new jacket inside out, to protect it, but Alton Benes doesn't want to be seen on the street with him.

b: 06-Feb-91 pc: 205 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones



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9. S02E04 - The Phone Message

Guest Stars: Tory Polone (Carol) Gretchen German (Donna)


George blows an invitation upstairs with his latest girlfriend and then when he tries to make restitution he leaves progressively nastier messages on her answering machine. He gets the chance to prevent her from hearing her messages by having Jerry switch the tape out of her machine, while he distracts her. Jerry and his girlfriend have a disagreement about TV commercial for pants commercial and his telling his friends about their conflict.

b: 13-Feb-91 pc: 207 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones



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10. S02E05 - The Apartment

Guest Stars: Tony Plana (Manny) Glenn Shadix (Harold) Jeanine Jackson (Roxanne) Leslie Neale (Rita) Theresa Randle (Janice) Patricia Amaye Thomson (Susie) Melody Ryane (Joanne) David Blackwood (Stan)


Kramer tries mousse in his hair. Jerry gets Elaine an opportunity to get the apartment right above him, before he realizes the possible implications. George tests the "man with a wedding band" theory of meeting women.

b: 04-Apr-91 pc: 208 w: Peter Mehlman d: Tom Cherones



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11. S02E06 - The Statue

Guest Stars: Michael D. Conway (Ray) Nurit Koppel (Rava)


Jerry has a box of stuff his grandfather left him. Inside is an interesting looking statue that could replace one George's parents had years ago, but he broke. George plans to pick the statue up later but in the meantime he tells his parents about the replacement statue. Meanwhile the boyfriend of a bitter Finnish author (whose latest work Elaine is going to edit) is going to clean Jerry's apartment. When Jerry returns to his apartment it is cleaned beyond reason. Later when Jerry and Elaine are at the author's apartment, they see the statue on her mantelpiece. Getting it back may jeopardize Elaine's chance at being an editor, but save George from his parent's wrath.

b: 11-Apr-91 pc: 210 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones



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12. S02E07 - The Revenge
Guest Stars: Fred Applegate (Levitan) John Capodice (Vic) Teri Austin (Ava) Patrika Darbo (Glenda) Marcus Smythe (Dan) John Hillner (Greeny) Deck McKenzie (Bill) Larry David (Voice of Newman (uncredited))
George quits his job in a huff after he is demoted to using the regular bathroom. Newman tells Kramer that he plans to jump off the building. Jerry suggests that George just go back into work next Monday morning and pretend like nothing happened; however, that doesn't work. Newman jumps, from the second floor. George plots revenge, and with Elaine's help, tries to slip his boss "a Mickey." Jerry suspects that his launderer is a larcenist after he discovers that $1500 he had stashed in his laundry bag is missing. Kramer helps Jerry get revenge by bringing a bag of concrete in to put into one of the wash machines.

b: 18-Apr-91 pc: 212 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones


NOTE: While thinking about new career opportunities, George mentions that he might get a job working for a sports team, something he'll realize later. Newman, whom we never see, is said to be unemployed; however, later in the series we learn he is a postal worker. For the syndicated rerun, Wayne Knight supplies the voice of the never seen Newman. For the original network broadcasts Larry David provided the voice for Newman.
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13. S02E08 - The Heart Attack

Guest Stars: Stephen Tobolowsky (Tor) John Posey (Dr. Fein) John Fleck (Attendant) Jimmy Woodward (Driver) Pat Hazell (Man in other bed) Sharon McKnight (Nurse) Thomas Wagner (Cook) Heather James (Waitress)


George thinks he's had a heart attack. The doctor tells him otherwise, but he might want to get his tonsils and adenoids removed. Elaine is interested in the doctor and he is interested in her tongue. George not wanting to deal with the cost, follows Kramer's suggestion of going to a holistic healer. The healer's cure turns George purple and the ride to the hospital is delayed over a Chuckle.

b: 25-Apr-91 pc: 211 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones


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14. S02E09 - The Deal

Guest Stars: Siobhan Fallon (Tina) Norman Brenner (Clerk)


Jerry and Elaine are watching TV late at night and stumble across "naked people" and that gets them both discussing whether they could have a relationship and not jeopardize their friendship. George says it can't be done, but Jerry and Elaine devise "a system"; however, it develops a little trouble when her birthday comes along.

b: 02-May-91 pc: 213 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones



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15. S02E10 - The Baby Shower

Guest Stars: Christine Dunford (Leslie) Vic Polizos (Tabachnik) James Lashly (Assistant) Margaret Reed (Mary) George C. Simms (FBI Man) Marla Fries (Stewardess) Don Perry (Passenger) Kate Mulligan (Party Guest) Audrey Frantz (Party Guest)


Elaine needs to use Jerry's apartment to hold a baby shower for a woman that once dated George. George reflects that she was "unequivocally the worst date of my life." Jerry has to go out of town for a show, so he lets Elaine use the apartment. Kramer sells Jerry on the idea on getting an illegal cable hookup. The party begins. The cable guys come to install the hookup. Jerry's show gets canceled, so he returns to the apartment with George (who's prepared to confront the bad date). Jerry is the victim of his own confrontation.

b: 16-May-91 pc: 204 w: Larry Charles d: Tom Cherones



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16. S02E11 - The Chinese Restaurant

Guest Stars: James Hong (Bruce) David Tress (Mr. Cohen) Judy Kain (Lorraine) Kate Benton (Woman on Phone) Michael Mitz (Phone Guy) Kendall McCarthy (Man)


Jerry, Elaine and George stop for a quick Chinese dinner before a showing of Plan 9 From Outer Space on the big screen. However, while waiting a really long time to get a table, Jerry sees a woman whose name he can't recall; George needs to use a phone he can't have and Elaine needs food, more than those seated ahead of them.

b: 23-May-91 pc: 206 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones


NOTE: Viewer Danny Lee notes that Jerry mentions in this episode that he has a sister. I wonder what ever happened to her?
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17. S02E12 - The Busboy

Guest Stars: David Labiosa (Antonio) Doug Ballard (Eddie) John Del Regno (Manager)


George inadvertently meddles in the life of a busboy, by getting him fired. He tries to rectify things; however, he winds up compounding them by losing the busboy's cat. Elaine discovers that a week is much too long to have a houseguest. She does everything in her power to get him out. The busboy's life is saved and made for the better after his involvement with George, until he meets Elaine's houseguest.

b: 26-Jun-91 pc: 203 w: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld d: Tom Cherones



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Season 3
18. S03E01 - The Note
Guest Stars: Ralph Bruneau (Lloyd) Terri Hanauer (Julianna) Jeff Lester (Raymond) Flo Di Re (Recepcionist) Liz Georges (Pam) Paul Rogers (Man in Waiting Room) Dale Raoul (Dental Patient) Joshua Liebling (Billy)
Physical therapy proves painful for Jerry when his small talk with his therapist leads to a misunderstanding. Jerry uses his dentist friend, Roy, to write a note so that insurance will cover therapy for George and Elaine. Then, George's paranoia about men comes into play when he gets a massage from a man and later says "I think it moved." Kramer thinks he has seen DiMaggio in Dinky Donuts. The notes may cause Roy to lose his license in an insurance fraud investigation.

b: 18-Sep-91 pc: 301 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones



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19. S03E02 - The Truth
Guest Stars: Valerie Mahaffey (Patrice) Siobhan Fallon (Tina)
George's relationship with a former IRS worker may ease Jerry's tax audit worries- until she becomes his former girlfriend. She wants to know why, so he tells her the truth, this was after he gave her Jerry's tax records. Elaine sees far too much of Kramer, he's dating her roommate; in return he saw far too much of her, in fact all of her. George tries to get Jerry's tax records back, but he finds she gone into a depression clinic.

b: 25-Sep-91 pc: 302 w: Elaine Pope d: David Steinberg


NOTE: According to viewer Jerry Balsam, George first mentions that he has driven women to lesbianism before, something we'll get to experience in "The Smelly Car."
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20. S03E03 - The Pen

Guest Stars: Barney Martin (Morty) Annie Korzen (Doris Klompus) Liz Sheridan (Helen) Len Lesser (Uncle Leo) Roger Nolan (The Chiropractor) Sandy Baron (Jack Klompus) Ann Morgan Guilbert (Evelyn) AnnieKorzen (Doris Klompus) Magda Harout (Stella) Tucker Smallwood (Photographer)


Elaine regrets accompanying Jerry on a trip to Florida to visit his parents. There are temperature control problems in the condo, a back breaking sofa bed, a slight overdose of muscle relaxants and the disposition of a pen that writes upside down.

b: 02-Oct-91 pc: 305 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones



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21. S03E04 - The Dog
Guest Stars: Joseph Maher (Gavin) Tom Williams (Bark of the Dog) Marvin Wright-Bay (Attendant #1) Marvin Wright-Bey (Attendant #1) Kelly Wellman (Attendant #2)
Jerry is watching an unruly dog, for a fellow airline passenger who's sick in a hospital somewhere in Chicago. Jerry, can't leave his apartment, that leaves George and Elaine alone together. They find they have little to say to each other without their conversational third, Jerry; so they talk about him. Kramer tries breaking up with his girlfriend. Jerry can't locate the dogs owner, who was released from the hospital, some time ago.

b: 09-Oct-91 pc: 303 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones



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22. S03E05 - The Library

Guest Stars: Philip Baker Hall (Lt. Bookman) Phillip Baker Hall (Lt. Bookman) Ashley Gardener (Marion) Harris Shore (Mr. Lippman) Cynthia Szigeti (Sandy) Biff Yeager (Heyman) Neal Lerner ("Shusher") Marie Barrientos (Recepcionist)


The library asks Jerry about a book he checked out in 1971 and never returned, so Jerry looks up an old girlfriend for his defense against a library cop. George thinks the homeless man he'd seen outside the library is a former gym high school gym teacher that he got fired. Kramer has his eye on a librarian. Elaine worries about her career when her boss hates the recommendations she made.

b: 16-Oct-91 pc: 304 w: Larry Charles d: Joshua White


NOTE: According to viewer Jeffrey Abucay, Marion the Librarian says that Mr. Bookman has been working at the library for 25 years, however Lt. Bookman himself states that 1971 was his first year on the job, which would mean he's been working at the library for twenty years, not twenty five.

Jeff Holland notes that this episode features the appearance of the "infamous" green bike. Why is it infamous?

Viewer Bill Watson notes that people often forget, myself included, about Harris Shore's only appearance as Mr. Lippman. Richard Fancy assumes that role beginning in the "The Red Dot."

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23. S03E06 - The Parking Garage

Guest Stars: David Dunard (Security Guard) Cynthia Ettinger (Michelle) Gregory Daniel (Man in Corvette) Carlyle King (Mother) Adam Wylie (Kid) Joe Farago (Man with Woman) Ron Evans (Bodybuilder) Tucker Smallwood (Man in Mercedes)


Everyone separates to try to find the car in a huge parking garage. Jerry needs the use of a bathroom so he finds a place to go and gets busted. Elaine tries to get help from people passing by. George joins Jerry in getting busted. Kramer is wearing "the jacket," and forgets where he put down the air conditioner he was carrying and causes George to be real late for his parent's 47th anniversary.

b: 30-Oct-91 pc: 306 w: Larry David d: Tom Cherones


NOTE: Viewer Kyle Westphal notes that Kramer parks in Purple 23. This happens to be the 23rd episode. Another viewer, Kyle Matschke notes that Kramer put the air conditioner down in Purple 23 and Jerry peed in Yellow 14.
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24. S03E07 - The Cafe

Guest Stars: Brian George (Babu Bhatt) Dawn Arnemann (Monica)


Jerry tries helping the owner of a small restaurant attract customers by giving him a suggestion. George must take an IQ test for his latest girlfriend, so Elaine helps him in "a caper" where she takes the test for him. Kramer tries to keep his mother's ex-boyfriend's jacket, because it helps him meet women; however the ex-boyfriend comes looking for it.

b: 06-Nov-91 pc: 307 w: Tom Leopold d: Tom Cherones



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