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Review Your Repertoire of Smiles
If your job required you to carry a gun, you would, of course, learn
all about the moving parts before firing it. And before taking aim,
you would carefully consider whether it would murder, maim, or
merely wound your target. Since your smile is one of your biggest
communications weapons, learn all about the moving parts and the
effect on your target. Set aside five minutes. Lock your bedroom or
bathroom door so your family doesn’t think you’ve gone off the
deep end. Now stand in front of the mirror and flash a few smiles.
Discover the subtle differences in your repertoire.
Just as you would alternate saying “Hello,” “How do you do,”
and “I am pleased to meet you” when being introduced to a group
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How to Talk to Anyone
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of people, vary your smile. Don’t use the same on each. Let each
of your smiles reflect the nuances of your sentiment about the
recipient.
In Defense of the Quickie
There are times, I discovered, when the quick put-on smile works.
For example, when you want to engineer the acquaintance of
someone to whom you have not had the opportunity to be intro-
duced. (In the vernacular, that’s “pick them up.”)
The smile’s pickup power was proven for posterity by solemn
researchers at the University of Missouri. They conducted a highly
controlled study titled “Giving Men the Come-On: Effect of Eye
Contact and Smiling in a Bar Environment.”
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(I kid you not.) To
prove their hypothesis, female researchers made eye contact with
unsuspecting male subjects enjoying a little libation in a local
drinking establishment. Sometimes, the female researchers fol-
lowed their glance with a smile. In other cases, no smile.
How to Make Them Feel You “Don’t Smile at Just Anybody”
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