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Oh, I Must Have Been Boring You



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How to Talk to Anyone 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Leil Lowndes) (z-lib.org)

Oh, I Must Have Been Boring You
I waited weeks for the opportunity to try it out. Finally the
moment presented itself at a convention. A new contact began
telling me about her recent trip to Washington, D.C. (She had no
idea that Washington was where I grew up.) She told me all about
the Capitol, the Washington Monument, the Kennedy Center, and
how she and her husband went bicycling in Rock Creek Park.
(Momentarily I forgot I was keeping my mouth shut to practice
my new technique. I was genuinely enjoying hearing about these
familiar sights from a visitor’s perspective.)
I asked her where she stayed, where she dined, and if she had
a chance to get into any of the beautiful Maryland or Virginia sub-
urbs. At one point, obviously pleased by my interest in her trip,
she said, “You sound like you know a lot about Washington.”
“Yes,” I replied. “It’s my hometown, but I haven’t been back
there in ages.”
“Your hometown!” she squealed. “My goodness, why didn’t
you tell me? I must have been boring you.”
“Oh, not at all,” I replied honestly. “I was enjoying hearing
about your trip so much, I was afraid you’d stop if I told you.” Her
108
How to Talk to Anyone
03 (093-142B) part three 8/14/03 9:17 AM Page 108


big smile and barely audible “Oh gosh” let me know I had won a
new friend.
When someone starts telling you about an activity he has
done, a trip she has made, a club he belongs to, an interest she
has—anything that you share—bite your tongue. Let the teller
relish his or her own monologue. Relax and enjoy it, too, secretly
knowing how much pleasure your conversation partner will have
when you reveal you share the same experience. Then, when the
moment is ripe, casually disclose your similarity. And be sure to
mention how much you enjoyed hearing about his or her shared
interest.
How to Not Sound Anxious (Let Them Discover Your Similarity)
109

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