How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life pdfdrive com

Step 1: Get clear on the “true facts.”
All facts are true, right? Well, by 
true
facts, I mean the things you truly do know for sure. Remember how even our
factual perceptions are subjective, thanks to the filtering of our brain’s
automatic system. So the first step is to strip away as much subjectivity as
you can, by focusing on what actually happened, without interpretation or
emotion. For example, in an interaction where you felt ignored by your boss,
saying “She ignored me” assumes her actions were deliberate. That’s an
interpretation—something you don’t know for sure. What 
can
you say for
sure? “She didn’t say anything to me when I saw her this afternoon, or at
least I don’t remember her saying anything.” Boom. That’s your true fact.
Step 2: Assume “good person in bad circumstances,” and consider
potential explanations for his or her behavior.
Assume the person is
essentially decent, and turn your “What the heck?” into “What could be going
on with them?” “What could have triggered their defenses?” (For guidance,
see the box 
“Common Defensive Mode Triggers”
.) “What might they be
feeling or fearing?” Come up with two or three possible reasons for the
behavior you’ve observed. You don’t have to believe those explanations; the
mere idea that there 
could
be circumstances behind this behavior helps
reframe the situation from one where they’re an aggressor to one where they
could
be a victim. And that reduces the sense of threat they’re presenting to
your brain, making it easier for you to be your best self in handling the
situation.
Armed with your potential alternative explanations, you can proceed in a more
tolerant frame of mind—perhaps to find out what’s really going on with that
person by asking some sympathetic questions, or simply assuming the best in

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him or her and proceeding accordingly.
Russell, the hotel brand director we met in