All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

Not allowing the son and daughter-in-law to live separately 
is oppression
Hadhrat Moulana mentions that a common form of oppression 
is when the parents of the groom deny the daughter-in-law 
separate living quarters, even if she requests it. This is 
prevalent in even those homes where the people are supposed 
to be Deeni-conscious. They claim that moving out of the home 
deprives the home of its barkat. This is especially the mentality 
of the older people. Remember that there is no obedience to the 
creation in the disobedience of Allaah Ta`ala. Cooking in one 
pot does invite the blessings of Allaah Ta`ala, but the hatred, 
arguments, unhappiness, etc. which takes place in that home 
opens the door to Allaah Ta`ala’s Anger and chases away all 
blessings.
If the daughter-in-law requests to live separately, then it is her 
right to request the same. In fact, in present times, this is the 
best method and in it lies much goodness for all concerned.
158
It should be understood that Islaam has not made service to the 
in-laws obligatory upon the daughter-in-law, although it is 
better if she does render them some service, out of the goodness 
of her heart. However, this is not Fardh or Waajib. However, as 
for her being of service to the brothers-in-law, this is totally 
forbidden, because in most cases it involves 
be-purdagi
. 
Please do remember…and we say this with respect…the 
daughter-in-law which has entered your family, has done so for 
(the benefit of) your son. She has not come as a slave, servant 
or worker for your benefit. 
So many husbands have confided in us thus, that the only time 
they got to eat alone with their wives was perhaps on the first 
night of marriage. From the very next day and for every other 
meal the wife eats with his mother and sisters and he eats with 
his father and brothers. Now you can think for yourself what a 
tragic situation this is. The couple get married to spend their 
lives together, and yet they are deprived of the very basic 
pleasure of eating together. 
Like this there are so many situations which we hear about 
regarding newly weds and their miserable lives when living 
with his family. 
If the husband is intelligent and has any proper Islaamic sense 
then he will make the proper choice and opt for living 
separately from the very first day. In this lies much goodness 
and peace of mind. 
We again make the humble request that the better and more 
peaceful option is that the newlyweds be allowed to live on 
their own from the very beginning. In this way the wife will be 
able to better serve her husband. She will only have her own 
household chores to tend to and she will have time and 
opportunity to prepare for the return of her husband from work 

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157
Hadhrat mentions that in this present era it is best that 
the newly weds live separately from the very first day, because 
in this lies peace and harmony for everyone. 
A person came to Hadhrat (rahmatullah alayh) and 
requested a 
taweez
for his daughter-in-law so that she may be 
obedient to him. Hadhrat Moulana told him that the best 
taweez
in this case is that he send his son and his daughter-in-law to 
live separately. [
Tuhfatuz Zaujain
, page 18] 
He said that sometimes people live with their parents 
for fear of chastisement (from people) and in this lies perpetual 
discomfort and an uneasy life. Peace and comfort and a good 
reputation do not lie together. It is better to opt for a 
comfortable and peaceful life with a ‘bad’ name, than to have 
one with a good name and constant discomfort and grief. In the 
present times, it is best to live separately, but still look after 
your parents and serve them.