All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

As far as possible do not make life constrained for the wife
It is the teachings of the Shariah that a man must, as far as 
possible, not make life difficult for his wife and keep her in 
comfort and ease. Together with providing for her basic needs, 
keep her happy also. If the wife does do something which is 
untoward, then forgive her and if she causes you grief, then 
adopt patience, Insha-Allaah you will be greatly rewarded by 
Allaah Ta`ala. 
Muslim men should treat and behave with their wives in the 
manner shown to us by Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam). It is 
necessary that the husband not make life constrained for his 
wife. 
Do not rebuke her for every small thing. If the salt is lacking in 
the food, or the food is not prepared on time, etc., etc. bear it 
patiently. One of the harms of constantly rebuking and 
complaining is that if ever there is a genuine need to rectify 
some Deeni wrong she may be involved in, and if you counsel 
her or advise her, she will not heed your advice or listen to you. 
May Allaah Ta`ala grant us all the good guidance to bear 
patiently the flaws of our wives and allow us to live happily 
and comfortably. 
Advice for the groom’s parents
It is appropriate that every Muslim turns only to Allaah Ta`ala 
in times of difficulty and restlessness, and search for what the 
law of Allaah Ta`ala is regarding that issue. They should also 
seek clarification from the pious Ulama regarding the avenue 
Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) would take in such matters. It 

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would be incorrect for a person to formulate his/her own 
solution, (when there are answers in the Deen). Hadhrat 
Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi (rahmatullah alayh) said, 
“It 
would be correct to say that we recognise Allaah Ta`ala by 
using our intelligence, but it would be incorrect to say that we 
(need to) understand the laws of Allaah Ta`ala with our 
intelligence.”
We would like to draw your attention to an important matter. 
(We make dua to Allaah Ta`ala that He grant us all the open 
mind to understand). 
In our society, the issue of the newly married couple living on 
their own is taboo. People regard it an insult for the son to 
move on his own after getting married. Many parents are not 
willing to budge on the issue and will listen to nothing. Even 
the son regards it as usurping his parent’s rights to want to 
move out of his parent’s home. 
It is as though the son and daughter-in-law have committed a 
grave sin by moving on their own. Have you noticed that 
nowadays there are so many sins which people perpetrate in the 
open, without anyone regarding it as evil. This is because we 
have become desensitized, and the evil of sin has left our 
hearts. On the other hand there are many other acts which are 
allowed and permissible in the Shariah, but because society 
deems them inappropriate and bad, hence we regard such acts 
as sinful and taboo. 
If one studies this matter carefully and with an unbiased mind, 
then you will realise that to regard the newlywed couple as 
having perpetrated a wrong by living separately instead of 
living with the parents, brothers, sisters, etc. as being a silly and 
incomprehensible ideology. In fact such beliefs and ideologies 
have been imbedded in our minds following our having lived 
for so many years amongst the Hindus. 
Beloved Readers! Allaah Ta`ala and His Rasool (sallallahu 
alaihi wasallam) have not prevented the newlyweds from living 
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separately. In fact, it is an advisable act and liked by the 
Shariah. Living separately fosters greater love between the wife 
and her in-laws.
Experience shows that when the bride lives together with her 
mother and sisters-in-law, then there is some or the other 
argument or dissatisfaction everyday. Peace and quiet is a rare 
find in such homes. 
It is for this reason that the parents (of the groom) do not 
prevent their son and daughter-in-law from living separately. In 
fact, since this is exhorted in the Shariah, they should make a 
special effort at bringing it into practice. If their son wishes to 
live separately from the first day, they should happily consent 
and even if their son is not really in favour of living separately, 
they should encourage him to do so. 
We hear of many such cases where the entire families live 
together and there is constant strife and arguments in those 
households. 
In this regard Hadhrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi 
(rahmatullah alayh) mentions in