All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

Wa`az Huqooqul Bait
page 48 
and in
Tufatuz Zaujain
page 18, that his opinion is that the 
newlywed couple live separately from day one. This, Hadhrat 
says is the best option. 
At another juncture he says, 
“If the (groom’s) parents 
prohibit his living separate but his wife demands a separate 
quarters, then it is necessary that he accede to the wife’s 
request, because: ‘There is no obedience to the creation in the 
disobedience of the Creator’.”
Since it is the right of the wife to have a separate quarters, 
therefore it would be incorrect and sinful for the husband to 
deprive her that right. In this situation, it is appropriate that he 
do as his wife wishes and not what his parents want, because 
the pleasure of Allaah Ta`ala lies in him fulfilling the right of 
his wife. His parents have no right to demand that he stay with 
them. 

---

155
would be incorrect for a person to formulate his/her own 
solution, (when there are answers in the Deen). Hadhrat 
Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi (rahmatullah alayh) said, 
“It 
would be correct to say that we recognise Allaah Ta`ala by 
using our intelligence, but it would be incorrect to say that we 
(need to) understand the laws of Allaah Ta`ala with our 
intelligence.”
We would like to draw your attention to an important matter. 
(We make dua to Allaah Ta`ala that He grant us all the open 
mind to understand). 
In our society, the issue of the newly married couple living on 
their own is taboo. People regard it an insult for the son to 
move on his own after getting married. Many parents are not 
willing to budge on the issue and will listen to nothing. Even 
the son regards it as usurping his parent’s rights to want to 
move out of his parent’s home. 
It is as though the son and daughter-in-law have committed a 
grave sin by moving on their own. Have you noticed that 
nowadays there are so many sins which people perpetrate in the 
open, without anyone regarding it as evil. This is because we 
have become desensitized, and the evil of sin has left our 
hearts. On the other hand there are many other acts which are 
allowed and permissible in the Shariah, but because society 
deems them inappropriate and bad, hence we regard such acts 
as sinful and taboo. 
If one studies this matter carefully and with an unbiased mind, 
then you will realise that to regard the newlywed couple as 
having perpetrated a wrong by living separately instead of 
living with the parents, brothers, sisters, etc. as being a silly and 
incomprehensible ideology. In fact such beliefs and ideologies 
have been imbedded in our minds following our having lived 
for so many years amongst the Hindus. 
Beloved Readers! Allaah Ta`ala and His Rasool (sallallahu 
alaihi wasallam) have not prevented the newlyweds from living 
156
separately. In fact, it is an advisable act and liked by the 
Shariah. Living separately fosters greater love between the wife 
and her in-laws.
Experience shows that when the bride lives together with her 
mother and sisters-in-law, then there is some or the other 
argument or dissatisfaction everyday. Peace and quiet is a rare 
find in such homes. 
It is for this reason that the parents (of the groom) do not 
prevent their son and daughter-in-law from living separately. In 
fact, since this is exhorted in the Shariah, they should make a 
special effort at bringing it into practice. If their son wishes to 
live separately from the first day, they should happily consent 
and even if their son is not really in favour of living separately, 
they should encourage him to do so. 
We hear of many such cases where the entire families live 
together and there is constant strife and arguments in those 
households. 
In this regard Hadhrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi 
(rahmatullah alayh) mentions in 
Wa`az Huqooqul Bait
page 48 
and in
Tufatuz Zaujain
page 18, that his opinion is that the 
newlywed couple live separately from day one. This, Hadhrat 
says is the best option. 
At another juncture he says, 
“If the (groom’s) parents 
prohibit his living separate but his wife demands a separate 
quarters, then it is necessary that he accede to the wife’s 
request, because: ‘There is no obedience to the creation in the 
disobedience of the Creator’.”
Since it is the right of the wife to have a separate quarters, 
therefore it would be incorrect and sinful for the husband to 
deprive her that right. In this situation, it is appropriate that he 
do as his wife wishes and not what his parents want, because 
the pleasure of Allaah Ta`ala lies in him fulfilling the right of 
his wife. His parents have no right to demand that he stay with 
them. 

---

157
Hadhrat mentions that in this present era it is best that 
the newly weds live separately from the very first day, because 
in this lies peace and harmony for everyone. 
A person came to Hadhrat (rahmatullah alayh) and 
requested a 
taweez
for his daughter-in-law so that she may be 
obedient to him. Hadhrat Moulana told him that the best 
taweez
in this case is that he send his son and his daughter-in-law to 
live separately. [
Tuhfatuz Zaujain
, page 18] 
He said that sometimes people live with their parents 
for fear of chastisement (from people) and in this lies perpetual 
discomfort and an uneasy life. Peace and comfort and a good 
reputation do not lie together. It is better to opt for a 
comfortable and peaceful life with a ‘bad’ name, than to have 
one with a good name and constant discomfort and grief. In the 
present times, it is best to live separately, but still look after 
your parents and serve them.