The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It

IF I THINK IT, IT MUST BE TRUE
Trying not to think about something guarantees that it is never far from your mind. This leads to a
second problem: When you try to push a thought away, and it keeps coming back to your mind, 
you
are more likely to assume that it must be true
. Why else would the thought keep resurfacing? We
trust that our thoughts are important sources of information. When a thought becomes more frequent
and harder to pull yourself away from, you will naturally assume that it is an urgent message that you
should pay attention to.
This cognitive bias seems to be hardwired in the human brain. We estimate how likely or true
something is by the ease with which we can bring it to mind. This can have unsettling consequences
when we try to push a worry or desire out of our minds. For example, because it’s easy to remember
news stories about plane crashes (especially if you are a fearful flier handing over your boarding
pass), we tend to overestimate the likelihood of being in a crash. The risk is actually about one in
fourteen million, but most people believe the risk is higher than of dying from nephritis or septicemia
—two of the top ten causes of death in the United States, but not diseases that easily pop into our
minds.
Whatever fear or desire you try to push away will become more convincing and compelling.
Wegner, the psychologist who discovered ironic rebound, once received a phone call from a
distraught student who couldn’t stop thinking about killing herself. A fleeting thought had gotten
lodged in her brain, and she had become convinced that she must really, deep down, want to kill
herself. Otherwise, why would the idea keep intruding into her thoughts? She called Wegner—
perhaps the only psychologist she knew—for help. Now keep in mind, Wegner is a scientific
psychologist, not a psychotherapist. He isn’t trained to talk people off ledges or muddle around in the
dark corners of other people’s minds. So he talked to the student about what he knew: white bears. He
told her about his experiments, and explained that the more you try to push away a thought, the more
likely it is to fight its way back into consciousness. This doesn’t mean the thought is true or important.
The student was relieved to realize that how she reacted to the thought of suicide had strengthened it
—but this did not mean she really wanted to kill herself.
For you, it might be the thought that a loved one has been in a car accident. Or the thought that a pint
of Karamel Sutra ice cream is the only thing that will soothe your stress. If you panic and push the
thought out of your mind, it is going to come back. And when it does, it will return with more
authority. Because you are trying 
not
to think about it, its reappearance seems even more meaningful.
As a result, you’re more likely to believe it is true. The worrier becomes more worried, and the ice-
cream craver pulls out her spoon.