The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It

ISN’T IT IRONIC
Wegner repeated his white bear thought experiment with other students, and when they too became
obsessed with bears, he prohibited other thoughts. Each time, the mere act of trying not to think about
something triggered a paradoxical effect: People thought about it more than when they weren’t trying
to control their thoughts, and even more than when they were intentionally trying to think about it. The
effect was strongest when people were already stressed out, tired, or distracted. Wegner dubbed this
effect 
ironic rebound
. You push a thought away, and—BAM!—it boomerangs back. 
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Ironic rebound explains many modern frustrations: the insomniac who finds herself more wide-
awake the harder she tries to fall asleep; the dieter who banishes carbohydrates, only to find himself
dreaming about Wonder bread and whoopie pies; the worrier who tries to block out her anxiety but
gets drawn again and again into disaster fantasies. Wegner has even shown that suppressing thoughts
about a crush while you are awake increases the likelihood of dreaming about them—more than
intentionally
fantasizing about the dreamboat does. This, no doubt, contributes to the Romeo and
Juliet effect—the well-known psychological tendency to fall deeper in desire whenever a romance is
forbidden.
Wegner has found evidence for ironic effects of attempting to suppress just about any instinct you
can imagine. The job candidate who wants so badly to make a good impression is most likely to blurt
out the very thing that makes the interviewer cringe. The speaker trying to be politically correct
paradoxically activates every offensive stereotype in his mind. The person who most wants to keep a
secret finds herself compelled to spill the beans. The waiter who tries the hardest to not tip his tray is
most likely to end up with marinara sauce on his shirt. Wegner even (somewhat charitably) credits
ironic effects for the scientific finding that the most homophobic men get the largest erections while
watching gay porn.

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