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In conclusion, even though the significance of earning a good income
cannot be overlooked while choosing a career, I believe paying attention
to other aspects could lead to more professional satisfaction.
(“In conclusion” signals the end of the essay; both sides of the argument are
summarized while the writer’s opinion is restated. Here, opinion and the
summary of the topic sentences are perfectly merged in one comparative
compound-complex structure for a high band score.)
Sample writing
It is believed that taking high income into account is an essential parameter
for choosing a vocation. From my perspective, although a big salary is
predominant in selecting a career, other factors, including job satisfaction,
could play a crucial role in a person’s professional life.
On the one hand, well-paid jobs are inspiring. In other words, individuals feel
more motivated when they are justly compensated for what they
professionally do. Simultaneously, motivation leads to better productivity,
making it a win-win situation for both employers and employees. For
example, software developers who work with reputable IT companies,
namely Apple, receive generous annual salaries; this has inevitably affected
this phenomenal business’s productivity levels. Thus, making a fair amount
of money at work could be quite advantageous for everyone.
On the other hand, job satisfaction could play a significant part in a person’s

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professional development. That is to say, by being satisfied with one’s
vocation, an individual could professionally develop, this consequently leads
to better success. Job satisfaction could result from factors such as a healthy
working environment and the existence of promotion prospects. For instance,
office workers might not be extremely inspired when employers do not
consider promotional aspects. They may find ways to kill time instead of
improving their professional skills. Therefore, a lack of motivating forces at
work affects efficiency and productivity, even if employees make good
money.
In conclusion, even though the significance of earning a good income cannot
be overlooked while choosing a career, I believe paying attention to other
aspects could lead to more professional satisfaction.
(259 words)