The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted

Assertiveness: Being direct in declining the request.
Suggesting another person who may be able to help the
requestor.
Aggressiveness: Barking “NO!” at the requestor, and
dismissing and/or belittling him or her for asking.
Y
OU GET THE IDEA.
Aggressiveness is often an impulse. An aggressive
person responds in a hostile or inconsiderate manner, and
often regrets doing so later.

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By contrast, assertiveness is planned, thoughtful, and
considerate. An assertive person communicates his or her
position with clarity while taking the other person’s feelings
into account.
The aggressive individual is loud, opinionated, and self-
absorbed. The assertive individual understands how to
express his or her point of view with grace.

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SAYING NO WITH GRACE
T
he Art Of Saying NO isn’t just about learning how to rebuff
requests for your time. Anyone can do that. Rather, the goal
is to learn how to say no without feeling guilty.
And that means using a bit of grace.
Tell me if this scenario sounds familiar:
You’re frazzled. You have a mountain of work in front of
you and not enough time to get everything done. Making
matters worse, your phone keeps ringing, preventing you
from making headway. And the problem is compounded by
the fact that people keep stopping by your office to ask you
for help.
In short, you’re feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.
At that moment, another coworker approaches your
office. He wants you to do something for him, unaware of
your stress and state of mind.
He’s in for a surprise.
You’ve been saying yes to people all day, and you’re
sick of it. Worse, you’re irritated at yourself for continuously
catering to your coworkers’ needs while allowing your own
to go unattended.
Your coworker reaches your office and asks, “Can you do
me a favor?”
You glare at him, brow furrowed and teeth gritted, and
snarl, “I don’t have time for you right now! Can’t you see
I’m busy?!”

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Your coworker, speechless with eyes wide, slowly backs
out of your office. He manages to mutter, “Gosh, I’m sorry”
before doing an about face and departing.
You watch him walk away and instantly feel guilty.
In this scenario, you’ve managed to say no. You’ve
successfully rebuffed your coworker’s request for help. But
the manner in which you’ve done so has likely caused hurt
feelings, resentment, and other negative emotions that’ll
haunt you later.
I’m ashamed to say this scenario comes from my own
life. Many times, back when I was a people pleaser, I’d
become overwhelmed and lose my cool. I’d blow up, taking
out my frustration on whoever was unlucky enough to catch
me at a bad time.
And I’d always regret it.
The Art Of Saying NO will show you a better way. By the
time you’ve finished reading this book, you’ll have all the
tools you need to say no with grace and tact, and
importantly, without guilt.

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