The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted

WE SUCCUMB TO EMOTIONAL
BULLYING
Y
ou’ll occasionally run into people who refuse to take no for
an answer. They’ll go to great lengths to compel you to say
yes, including using emotional bullying.
Emotional bullying occurs when one person makes
another feel afraid, angry, or self-conscious for the purpose
of achieving his or her ends. This is accomplished through a
variety of means, including the following:
yelling
calling
swearing
making threats
lobbing insults
humiliation
ostracization
making accusations
Emotional bullies use the above tactics to cause their
victims to feel guilt, fear, shame, and embarrassment. The
idea is that people who experience these negative feelings
will acquiesce. They’ll surrender, saying yes to the abusers
if only to stop the abuse.
Emotional bullies know what they’re doing. They realize
they’re being manipulative. They understand they’re being

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rude and unfair to their victims.
That’s important to remember. Why? Because it gives
you the freedom to stand up to this type of bullying and
point out its shortcomings. It also gives you the self-
confidence to remain resolute in saying no when the bully is
trying to get you to say yes.
For example, suppose you’ve declined a coworker’s
request for help so you’ll have enough time to meet your
own work-related obligations. Your coworker responds by
shouting and swearing at you.
One way to respond is to remind your coworker that
shouting and swearing is inappropriate and unprofessional.
Moreover, the behavior is unlikely to resolve things in a
productive manner. You might even ask the bully to describe
the last time shouting and swearing actually worked for him
or her.
In other words, take the high road.
Because you’re aware that the abuser is knowingly
being manipulative, you’ll be less compelled by his or her
tactics. You won’t feel shamed, fearful, guilty, or
embarrassed. Instead, you’ll recognize the bully’s shouting
and swearing as indications of his or her personality flaws.
That’ll make it much easier to remain assertive and
stand your ground.

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