Scatter Brained

ARACHIBUTYROPHOBIA
What You Fear:
  peanut  butter  sticking  to  the  roof  of  your 
mouth
Real Reason to Fear It:
 About .5 percent of the American 
population is allergic to peanuts, and for reasons researchers 
don’t really understand, the number is growing.
Related Phobias:
 Pnigophobia (fear of choking or being 
smothered)
Noted Sufferers:
 none—it’s hard to imagine anyone with 
such a fear rising to prominence.

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Surprising Fact:
 Th
  e fact that such a phobia has a scientifi c 
name strikes us as fairly surprising.
PHILEMAPHOBIA
What You Fear:
 kissing
Real Reason to Fear It:
 One might mix up “kissing” with 
“Kissinger,” who is scary indeed.
Related Phobias:
 Myxophobia (fear of slime)
Noted Sufferers:
 Well, after the hullabaloo with Judas, one 
couldn’t blame Jesus for being a little kiss-phobic.
Surprising Fact:
 Kissing 
is
 occasionally fatal. Eighth-century 
Chinese poet Li Po supposedly drowned after leaning out of a 
boat in an attempt to kiss the moon’s refl ection. (He had, it 
rather goes without saying, been drinking.)
HYDROPHOBIA
What You Fear:
 water—or, worse still, bathing in it
Real Reason to Fear It:
  Th
  ere are plenty: giardia, E. coli, 
drowning.
Related Phobia:
 Urophobia (fear of passed water, i.e., pee)
Noted Sufferer:
 Prussian emperor Frederick the Great, 
known to his intimates as Frederick-the-incredibly-foul-
smelling-because-he-refuses-to-ever-bathe-in-his-entire-
life-but-still-kinda-Great. Frederick also made his coff ee with 
champagne instead of water.
Surprising Fact:
 Hydrophobia is also a symptom for late-
stage rabies infection—unable to swallow, victims panic 
when presented with liquid. And that, Scout, is why Atticus 
had to shoot the dog.