Scatter Brained

C H A P T E R   2

---

38
S C A T T E R B R A I N E D
(motto: “Proving Th
  ere Is a Federation for Everything”) imme-
diately debunked Landers’s story, but, surprisingly, Ann Land-
ers had a broader readership than the USA Rice Federation.
✖  ✖  ✖
The Lie:
 Chewing gum stays in your digestive system for 
seven years.
The Truth:
 Chewing gum, like anything else, stays in your 
 digestive system for an average of about 20 hours. Like a lot 
of indigestible things people eat (fi ngernails, lettuce, Froot 
Loops), chewing gum gets passed through the gastrointesti-
nal tract as roughage.
✖  ✖  ✖
The Lie:
 If you don’t wait an hour after eating to get in the 
swimming pool, you will get a cramp and die.
The Truth:
 Exactly 0 deaths have ever been attributed to en-
tering a pool too quickly after eating.
✖  ✖  ✖
The Lie:
 Walt Disney is cryogenically frozen.
The Truth:
 Walt Disney was the opposite of frozen. His body 
was cremated two days after his death in 1966.
✖  ✖  ✖
The Lie:
 Th
  e original Harlem Globetrotters are from Harlem.
The Truth:
 Not a single one was from New York. Almost all of 
the original Globetrotters were from Chicago, where the team 
was founded in 1926. Th
  ey took on “New York” to seem more 
cosmopolitan as they toured the Midwest and changed it to 
“Harlem” in 1930.
✖  ✖  ✖
The Lie:
 Adam and Eve ruined everything for the rest of us by 
eating an apple.

---

39
The Truth:
 Adam and Eve ruined everything for the rest of 
us by eating an unnamed fruit. Th
  e exact wording: “. . . the 
fruit of the tree that is in the middle of the garden” (Gene-
sis 3:3).
✖  ✖  ✖
The Lie:
 Mussolini made the trains run on time.
The Truth:
 When seeking to explain why masses of people will 
sometimes support evil regimes, you often hear folks say, 
“Well, Mussolini made the trains run on time.” Poor example. 
If you’re taking an indefensible position, well, Hamas 
does
 
provide schools and medical care to Palestinians. Sri Lanka’s 
Tamil Tigers, who conscript child soldiers and lead the world 
in suicide bombings, 
did
 give aid to Sri Lankans in the wake of 
the 2004 tsunami. But Mussolini never made the trains run 
on time. During World War I, the Italian rail system became 
woefully inconsistent, and it’s true that by the time Mussolini 
took power in 1922, the trains were more punctual—but 
mostly because of construction work done in the years before 
he took power.
✖  ✖  ✖
The Lie:
 Th
  e Great Wall of China is the only man-made object 
visible from space.
The Truth:
  Th
  ousands of man-made objects are visible from 
space. Furthermore, the Great Wall of China is not among 
them. To quote astronaut Jay Apt, “Although we can see things 
as small as airport runways, the Great Wall seems to be made 
largely of materials that have the same color as the surround-
ing soil.”
✖  ✖  ✖
The Lie:
 Van Gogh cut off  his left ear and mailed it to a prosti-
tute.