Scatter Brained

C H A P T E R   7

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S C A T T E R B R A I N E D
activism in Italy’s fascist party grew to be too much of a dis-
traction, and he decided to become a full-time fascist. It 
worked out awfully well for him—within three years, he was 
Italy’s dictator.
HENRI MATISSE
Original Occupation:
 lawyer/court administrator
Second Career:
 painter
Reason for Switch:
 severe appendicitis
How He Changed the World:
 Matisse took up painting 
when his slow recovery from appendicitis left him bedridden, 
unable to work, and bored. Within a few years he was the 
most prominent painter in France and was leading the Fau-
vist movement. In their brief heyday (1905–1908) 
Les Fauves
 
(“the Wild Beasts”) managed to shock the Parisian art world 
with their bold colors and sharp black outlines. Even after 
Fauvism ceased to impress critics, Matisse never did. Al-
though his friend and rival Pablo Picasso is probably better 
known, these days Matisse paintings sell for as much as $17 
million, which ain’t bad. Talk about a fortuitous appendicitis 
eruption!
COLONEL SANDERS
Original Occupation:
 insurance salesman
Second Career:
 chicken magnate
Reason for Switch:
 people too healthy to worry about insur-
ance
How He Changed the World:
 Frustrated by fi nancial hard-
ship, Sanders spent years concocting an infernal, irresistible 
blend of 11 herbs and spices to shorten life spans and fatten 

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up America. Apparently, revenge is a dish best served hot, 
extra crispy, and fi nger-lickin’ good.
GERALD FORD
Original Occupation:
 male model
Second Career:
 politician, congressman, U.S. president
Reason for Switch:
 breakup with girlfriend/longing for home
How He Changed the World:
 Handsome young Gerry Ford 
easily made the transition from all-American football star 
(he was once off ered a contract to play for the Green Bay 
Packers) to model in glossy fashion spreads in the likes of 
Life
 
and 
Cosmopolitan.
 But Ford disliked New York and missed his 
hometown, Grand Rapids, Michigan. Ford ditched the high-
fashion world for the campaign trail, fi rst getting elected a 
congressman in Michigan, and then managing to become 
president without ever being elected (he wasn’t elected vice 
president, either—he simply replaced the disgraced Spiro 
Agnew). As president, Ford was bumbling and goofy—but 
few people hated him. And if you’re president, you really don’t 
want to have the wrong people hate you. . . .