as inspired as true lovers of poetry should be.
They rocked for a while, drinking tea, sitting quietly, drifting in their thoughts.
The compulsion that had driven her here was gone now‐‐she was glad for this‐‐but
she worried about the feelings that had taken its place, the stirrings that had begun
to sift and swirl in her pores like gold dust in river pans. She'd tried to deny
them, hide from them, but now she realized that she didn't want them to stop. It
had been years since she'd felt this way.
Lon could not evoke these feelings in her. He never had and probably never would.
Maybe that was why she had never been to bed with him. He had tried before, many
times, using everything from flowers to guilt, and she had always used the excuse
that she wanted to wait until marriage. He took it well, usually, and she sometimes
wondered how hurt he would be if he ever found out about Noah.
But there was something else that made her want to wait, and it had to do with Lon
himself. He was driven in his work, and it always commanded most of his attention.
Work came first, and for him there was no time for poems and wasted evenings and
rocking on porches. She knew this was why he was successful, and part of her
respected him for that. But she also sensed it wasn't enough. She wanted
something else, something different, something more. Passion and romance,
perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as
simple as not being second.
Noah, too, was sifting through his thoughts. To him, the evening would be
remembered as one of the most special times he had ever had. As he rocked, he
remembered it all in detail, then remembered it again. Everything she had done
seemed somehow electric to him, charged.
Now, sitting beside her, he wondered if she'd ever dreamed the same things he had
in the years they'd been apart. Had she ever dreamed of them holding each other
again and kissing in soft moonlight? Or did she go further and dream of their naked
bodies, which had been kept separate for far too long ....
He looked to the stars and remembered the thousands of empty nights he had
spent since they'd last seen each other. Seeing her again brought all those feelings
to the surface, and he found it impossible to press them back down. He knew then
he wanted to make love to her again and to have her love in return. It was what he
needed most in the world.
But he also realized it could never be. Now that she was engaged.
Allie knew by his silence that he was thinking about her and found that she reveled
in it. She didn't know what his thoughts were exactly, didn't care really, just knew
they were about her and that was enough.
She thought about their conversation at dinner and wondered about loneliness. For
some reason she couldn't picture him reading poetry to someone else or even
sharing his dreams with another woman. He didn't seem the type. Either that, or
she didn't want to believe it.
She put down the tea, then ran her hands through her hair, closing her eyes as she
did so.
"Are you tired?" he asked, finally breaking free from his thoughts.
"A little. I should really be going in a couple of minutes."
"I know," he said, nodding, his tone neutral. She didn't get up right away. Instead
she picked up the cup and drank the last swallow of tea, feeling it warm her throat.
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