Marriage
Falling out of love
Are you empowering your spouse’s weaknesses?, 41-42
If you want to have... be!, 43
Love her!, 79-80
When your spouse is the problem
If you want to have... be!, 43
Stay in your Circle of Influence, 81-90
Influencing your spouse
Working on the “be’s,” 90
The thirty-day test, 92-93
Building an Emotional Bank Account, 185-203
The key to your influence, 238-239
Walking out on a marriage
Forsaking responsibility in the name of independence, 50
Deteriorating or broken relationships
When the greed for golden eggs kills the goose, 55
Building the Emotional Bank Account, 188-203
When your happiness is based on your spouse’s
Being spouse-centered, 111-112
Dealing with differences
When you’re spouse-centered, 111—112
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, 235-260
Habit 6: Synergize, 261-284
The Frigidaire hang-up, 309-314
When there’s no trust in the relationship
Building an Emotional Bank Account, 185-203
“But we never have time for each other!”
Spending one-on-one time, 257-259
Taking time—together, 309-314
When there’s no communication
Communication, cooperation and synergy, 270-274
Taking time to talk things out, 309-314
Confessing each other’s “sins”
Being enemy-centered, 117
Negative synergy, 274-277
Parenting
Overreacting to a child’s negative behavior
Writing a new script, 104-106
Being family-centered, 112-113
Seeing and being differently, 132-133
When you “blow it,” 198-199
When you don’t like the kind of parent you are
Rewriting your script, 104-106
Seeing and being differently, 132-133
Role-playing your concerns, 258-259
If you or your spouse is emotionally immature
Being unwilling to change, 37
Parental “image” can overpower parental integrity, 38-40
If you have a need to be popular with your child
Being family-centered, 112-113
Going for the golden eggs, 55-56
Influencing a child
From “please” to power, 38-40
Overpowering children when they’re young, 55-56
Building an Emotional Bank Account, 185-203
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, 235-260
Getting children to handle their jobs
cheerfully and well
Getting the golden eggs—and preserving the goose, 56
“Green and clean,” 174-179
Creating a Win/Win with a child
“No Deal”—a liberating option, 215
Licensed to drive—a Win/Win opportunity, 228
Raising a responsible child
Getting golden eggs and preserving the goose, 56
“Green and clean,” 174-179
Creating a Win/Win, 228
“If Mommy doesn’t get us up in time...,” 232
Encouraging a child: “Use your R&I!,” 75
Building a relationship with a child
Star Wars, 56-57
Proactivity: the thirty-day test, 92-93
Building an Emotional Bank Account, 185-203
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, 235-260
When getting your own way weakens the relationship
Parental “image” can overpower parental integrity, 38-40
Overpowering children when they’re young, 55-56
Getting the golden eggs—and preserving the goose, 59
Rescripting over-reactive behavior, 104-106
When one wins and one loses, both lose, 209-213
When your child sees things differently
“I don’t want to share!,” 38-40
Star Wars, 56-57
Handling a “rebellious” son, 199-201
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, 235-260
When a child has difficulty in school
Looking
at
your lens as well as
through
it, 16-21
“Look at my child—I’m a failure!”
Getting social mileage out of your child’s behavior, 16-21
Parental “image” can overpower parental integrity, 38-40
Being family-centered, 112-113
When your child’s self-esteem is low
Changing the way you see your child, 16-21
Possessing self precedes sharing with others, 40
Reflections from the social mirror, 67-68
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, 235-260
The image you reflect back to others, 299-301
When you can’t understand your child
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, 235-260
Motivating children
“Green and clean,” 173-179
When your child won’t communicate
Learning how to listen, 245-253
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