1. BECOME AWARE OF WHAT YOUR STORIES
ARE
We call these “stories” because they are just that. They are not the truth. And
they can be rewritten. You’re the author of your own life— not your parents,
not society, not your partner, not your friends, not the bullies who called you
Fatzilla in junior high—and the sooner you decide to write yourself a better
script, the sooner you get to live a more awesome life.
Before you can let go of your stories, get clear on what they are. Listen to
what you say and what you think about and start busting yourself in your own
lies. We get so used to, and so identify with, our broken records that we don’t
even notice they exist or that they’re not even real. And yet we’ll fight to the
death to uphold their nontruths!
Listen specifically for sentences that begin with:
I always . . .
I never . . .
I can’t . . .
I should . . .
I suck at . . .
I wish . . .
I want (as opposed to I will and I am) . . .
I don’t have . . .
One day . . .
I’m trying to . . .
Sad-sack Jane, the lawyer, says she should keep her miserable job at the
prestigious firm because she’ll never find one that she likes that pays as well.
Really? Is that why nobody on earth, anywhere, is doing a job that they love
and making even more money than you make, Jane?
Lonely-hearted Sally always says she can’t find a good, single man because
there aren’t any left out there. Really Sally? All the good, single men were
hunted down and killed so no matter how many dates you go on or how many
times you put on sexy high heels and hang around at Home Depot, you’ll never
bump into one? Was the awesome guy your friend Deb just met the lone
survivor of the good guy genocide?
Broke-ass Joe, the personal trainer, always talks about how he can’t make
any money and how there are no high-paying clients out there. Really Joe? Not
any? Anywhere? Then how is it that other personal trainers have more high-
paying clients than they can handle? And that some even created energy drinks
and work-out products with their pictures on them and are raking it in on
QVC?
Another good place to catch yourself in a story is by looking at the areas in
your life that are sagging. If you’re constantly angry, maybe your story is,
“Nobody understands me.” If you’re always overweight, maybe your story is,
“I have no self-discipline.” If you’re uninvited from Thanksgiving dinner
because you wouldn’t let anyone else talk at the last three family gatherings,
maybe your story is, “Nobody pays any attention to me.”
Remember, as Wallace Wattles said: To think what you want to think is to
think the truth, regardless of appearances. Instead of pretending to be stuck in
these lame-o realities, use your power of thought to change your attitude and
change your life.
Start paying attention: What are your favorite, self-sabotaging stories? What
do you hear yourself think and say over and over again that has become who
you are (or rather who you think you are)? Bust yourself in your own tired old
broken records right now so you can set about rewriting your stories and create
the kind of life you love.
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