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PART SEVEN
How to Direc t Dial
Their Heart s
Hundreds of people have formed impressions of you through that
little device on your desk, your bed table, your kitchen wall. And
they’ve never actually met you. They’ve never seen your smiles,
felt your frowns. They’ve never grasped your hand or enjoyed your
hugs. They’ve never read your body language or seen how you
dress. Everything they know about you came through tiny fila-
ments, sometimes from hundreds of miles away. But they feel they
know you just from the sound of your voice. That’s how power-
ful the telephone is.
Powerful, yes, but not always accurate. For years I dealt with
my travel agent only by phone. Rani, my faceless agent whom I’d
never met in person, got me rock-bottom prices on airfares, cars,
and hotels. But her snippy phone personality really ticked me off.
A dozen times I vowed to find another agent.
One Monday morning several years ago, I received bad news
and had to book an immediate flight home for a family emergency.
I had no time to wait in line at the airport, so I jumped in a cab
and asked the driver to wait in front of the travel agency while I
grabbed tickets and a boarding pass.
Like a lit fuse, I zipped into Rani’s agency for the first time.
Seeing my frenzied rush, the woman sitting at the front desk sym-
pathetically jumped up. She gave me a reassuring smile and asked
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Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.
how she could help me. As I blithered on about my need for an
emergency ticket, she smiled, nodded, and lunged immediately
into action. “What a terrific lady!” I thought as she printed out
the tickets.
Moments later, darting out gratefully grasping the tickets in
my fist, I called out over my shoulder, “By the way, what’s your
name?”
“Leil, I’m Rani,” she said. I whirled around and saw a thor-
oughly congenial woman with a big smile on her face waving to
wish me a safe trip. I was dumbfounded! Why had I previously
thought she was so snippy? Rani was, well, so nice.
Sitting back in the cab on the way to the airport, I figured it
all out. Rani’s friendliness—her warm smile, her nods, her good
eye contact, her body language, her “I’m here for you” attitude—
were all silent signals that didn’t travel through wires. I closed my
eyes and tried to remember the voice I had heard moments ago.
Yes, it was Rani’s same crisp, curt pronunciation. But her friendly
body language made her seem like a different person from the
brusque agent I’d dealt with on the phone. Rani’s phone person-
ality and her demeanor in person were completely different shows.
I realized it’s the same with all of us. Your personality, mine,
and everyone’s could be likened to a show, a theatrical perfor-
mance. You want to make sure yours is a box-office smash, not a
flop. The following ten techniques will get your phone personal-
ity rave reviews.
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I have a friend, Tina, who designed costumes for an off-off-
Broadway show that became a smash hit a few years ago. The tiny
show was such a critical success, it won the heart of an angel—
a backer—and it went to Broadway. There the show laid a big
fat egg.
When I read the bad news, I called Tina. “Tina, why did the
show get such bad reviews on Broadway?” Tina told me that, sadly,
the director didn’t insist the actors and actresses change their per-
formances to adapt to the new surroundings. The actors’ under-
stated movements, which moved small audiences alternately to
laughter and tears, were lost in the big Broadway house. Audiences
couldn’t see their subtle gestures and poignant facial expressions.
Tina told me the performers neglected to make their movements
much bigger to fit the new medium.
That excellent advice is not just for actors. Whenever you are
talking, you must consider your medium. If your face were on a
big movie screen, you might get your message across with a wink
or an eyebrow raise. On radio, however, that would be meaning-
less. Because listeners couldn’t see your wink, you’d have to say
something like “Hi, Cutie.” Because listeners couldn’t see your
raised eyebrows, you’d have to say, “Wow, I’m surprised!”
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Exciting on the Phone
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Your body language and facial expressions comprise more than
half your personality. When people don’t see you, they can get an
entirely wrong impression as I did with Rani. To get your person-
ality across on the phone, you must translate your emotions into
sound. In fact, you have to exaggerate the sound because studies
have shown people lose 30 percent of the energy level in their
voices on the phone.
Say you meet an important new contact tomorrow. When
you’re introduced, you shake her hand, you fully face her. You
make good, strong eye contact and let a sincere smile flood over
your face. You even nod and smile, listening intently as she speaks.
She likes you a lot.
But how good an impression could you make on that VIP if
both you and she were blindfolded and the two of you had your
hands tied behind your backs? That’s the handicap you suffer on
the phone.
If she couldn’t see you, you’d have to substitute words to let
her know you’re agreeing or listening. You’d have to somehow ver-
balize that you’re smiling and use her name more to replace the eye
contact. You’d be using the technique I call “Talking Gestures.”
To make up for your missing eye contact, punctuate your
phone conversations with “Uh huh” or “I hear you.” So your lis-
tener knows you’re nodding in approval, verbalize “I see,” “Oh
that’s great,” “No kidding,” “Interesting,” and “Tell me more!”
She didn’t see you hitting your head in surprise? Better say
“What a surprise!” or “You don’t say!”
He just said something impressive and he can’t see your look
of admiration? Try “That was wise of you” or “You’re no dummy!”
Of course, you need a big verbal smile in your repertoire. Try
“Oh, wow, that’s funny!” Obviously you’re going to choose phrases
that match your personality and the situation. Just make sure your
phone listeners hear your emotions.
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