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How to Talk to Anyone 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (Leil Lowndes) (z-lib.org)

“Girls Don’t Like What?”
Several months ago in one of my seminars, the group was dis-
cussing compliments. One fellow insisted that “girls don’t like
compliments.”
“Girls don’t like what?” I asked incredulously.
He explained, “I once told a woman she had beautiful eyes.
And she said, ‘Boy, are you blind.’ ” The poor chap was so
wounded by her reaction, he became gun-shy and had not aimed
a compliment at a female since. What a shame for womankind and
what a blight on his social skills.
Upon receiving a compliment, many people demur or proffer
an embarrassed little “Thank you.” Worse, they protest, “Well, not
really, but thanks anyway.” Some people toss it off with, “just luck.”
When you react this way, you visit a grave injustice on the com-
plimenter. You insult a well-meaning person’s powers of perception.
“Vous Êtes Gentil”
Leave it to French folks to come up with a congenial catchall
phrase. Upon receiving a compliment, they say, “
Vous êtes gentil
.”
Loosely translated, that is “How kind of you.”
An American saying “How kind of you” could sound stilted—
like the little flower girl in 
My Fair Lady
trying to be cultured.
Nevertheless, we Yanks can express the French 
gentil
sentiment
with a technique I call “Boomeranging.”
When you toss a boomerang, it makes an almost 180-degree
swerve in midair and soars back to land at the feet of the thrower.
Likewise, when someone tosses a compliment your way, let the good
feelings soar back to the tosser. Don’t just say “Thanks.” (Or worse,
“Oh it’s nothing.”) Let them know of your gratitude and find a way
to compliment them for their compliment. A few examples:
How to Make ’Em Want to Compliment 
You
221
06 (199-228B) part six 8/14/03 9:18 AM Page 221


She says, “I like those shoes.” You say, “Oh I’m so happy you
told me. I just got them.”
He says, “You really did a good job on this project.” You say,
“Oh, that’s so nice of you to tell me. I appreciate your positive
feedback.”
You can also Boomerang the good feelings back when people
ask you a question about your family, a project, an event, or any-
thing that shows they are interested in you.
Your colleague asks, “How was your vacation in Hawaii?” You
answer, “Oh, you remembered I went to Hawaii! It was great,
thanks.”
Your boss asks, “Are you over your cold now?” You answer, “I
appreciate your concern. I feel much better now.”
Whenever someone shines a little sunshine on your life in the
form of a compliment or concerned question, reflect it back on
the shiner.
Incidently, in that seminar, I decided to do womankind a favor
by setting malekind straight on compliments once and for all. I
asked the fellow who swore women hated praise to give three
women sitting near him a sincere compliment. He chose the
woman with “the beautiful silver hair sitting behind him,” the girl
222
How to Talk to Anyone

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